Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Happy Things

  • Puppies.
  • Puppy-shaped balloon animals.
  • Other animal-shaped balloon animals.
  • Coca-Cola from the fountain.
  • Wearing new socks for the first time.
  • The new Dave’s Pick should be announced any day now, I think.
  • The smell of grass after it rains.
  • The word for that is petrichor, which is a lovely word and therefore is also included in the list of Happy Things.
  • In parts of the world, albinos are snatched from their homes at night and hacked to death with machetes; you do not live in any of these places, and that should make you happy.
  • The next time you see an asshole weaving in and out of traffic, you should be happy; here’s why: you live in a society in which the overwhelmingly vast majority of people are behaving themselves on the road, and so the one asshole stands out; that you noticed his behavior and marked it as aberrant points to the general politeness of American drivers. (This is not applicable to Boston, as everyone in Boston drives like a complete asshole 100% of the time and there’s no upside to it, and there’s no perspective broad enough to see it as a good thing.)
  • Speaking of cars: sometime in the near future, you’re going to get the best parking space.
  • A stand of virgin spruce, or a field of sunflowers, or maybe a mountain or something: some nature shit, whatever you’re into.
  • Tacos exist, and you can get a good one for cheap.
  • Every single End-Of-The-World prediction up until now has been wrong; that should make you smile just a little bit.
  • Honestly, if you want to be happy happy, then you should listen to a Dick’s Pick or a ’73 or something; if you’d settle for listening to a Dead show, then 8/27/80 from Clarkston, Michigan is your best bet: it is acceptable.
  • Finding money in a pair of pant you haven’t worn in a while.
  • Finding money in a pair of pants someone else is wearing, and them not noticing.
  • This guy:
  • images_article_2010_05_20_shmoo_by_nickdraw
  • That’s the Shmoo.
  • Say it out loud and you’ll smile.
  • Go ahead, no one’s listening.
  • Right?
  • You’re welcome.


  1. schmoo makes me very happy as does groo the wanderer

  2. I’m going with Keith:

  3. I’m with you on the socks . . . But there is such peril there, too: what if you buy a six pack of new pairs, and they look so nice, but when you go to slide them on, they are too tight and get hung up on your heel, forcing you to hop and sit and struggle to sheath your tender bunions in tight wooly discomfort? Well sir, that’s as bad as a basket of dead animal balloons.

  4. You’re right, the last Dave’s Picks last year was announced Oct 5, so it could happen literally any day now. Any guesses? Predictions, real or semi-fictional? Or is Big Dead going to put all its powers into getting Wally elected?

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