Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Head, ‘Phones

Enthusiasts, I am investing in myself, and in us; I have put a portion of the t-shirt profits back into the business.

You bought headphones.

Exactly! Can’t make t-shirts without listening to the Dead; can’t listen to the Dead without headphones; needed new headphones. It was an investment and I will be claiming it as such on my taxes, should I pay them.

Playing with fire there, buddy.

Oh, I’m sure the IRS has a sense of humor.

Right. So, what did you get?

Honestly?I got exhausted. The process was enervating. The world has become the scene from Moscow on the Hudson where Robin Williams goes to the American supermarket for the first time to get coffee, and there’s a massive wall of every brand and flavor you’ve ever seen, and he’s overcome and collapses. There’s too much choice, and too many choices.

You started looking up reviews, didn’t you?

Of course.

And reading the comment sections.

God help me, I did.

Always a blunder. Did you solicit help from friends and associates?

From men and women of the highest caliber. People whose opinions I respect.

What did they say?

They all said that the headphones they owned were the best headphones.

Weird coincidence.

Well-meaning, all of them. But then my brain started talking to me.

Shit.

Right. My brain showed me this photo of Dead archivist David “That’s No” Lemieuxnitsaspacestation:

dave lemieux couch headphones

The man’s a silver fox.

They’re called silver moose in Canada.

Ah. And your brain brought up this fairly uninteresting photo for what reason?

He’s wearing headphones. And my brain was all, “Dude. That guy listens to Dead shows for a living.” And I said that there was more to his job than that, but my brain was at least a little bit right.

It wasn’t entirely wrong, no.

And then my brain said, “Just do what that guy does,” and I said, “Those are a little more than I wanted to spend, Brain,” and then I began counting things around the house and hearing voices and I forgot how numbers worked and my brain went, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I CAN DO TO YOU? DO WHAT I TELL YOU AND BUY THE HEADPHONES,” and I clicked the “Purchase” button and felt much better.

That didn’t happen.

In a way, it did.

Don’t blame things on your brain. You are your brain.

Right. Who am I speaking with right now?

Point granted.

Thank you.

Did you really buy the headphones that were out of your budget because you saw DL wearing them?

THE MAN IS A PROFESSIONAL DEAD-SHOW LISTENER!

You’re special.

Yeah.

14 Comments

  1. oceanexplorer

    May 24, 2016 at 2:43 pm

    i’m telling you, shoulda sprung for the airline headphones with two prongs

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    May 24, 2016 at 2:44 pm

    DL? Y’all got Laptops? Don’t put your laptop on your Boys, man. Especially not in the Lotus Position.

  3. For the record, can you tell us what they are? I need headphones as well and have been looking for a sign. I may have just found one.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      May 24, 2016 at 3:01 pm

      The ones I got are the Sony MDR-7506. (Which are not, I believe, the ones DL has in that photo. They’re the next model over, I think. Dave’s are the MDR-V6, but they were the same price and looked to be pretty much the same thing, so I got the blue ones instead of the red ones. I am not in any way defending my decision-making process.)

      I’ll write about them when I get ’em.

      • Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

        May 24, 2016 at 5:21 pm

        With a picther of you wearing them?

      • Robin Russell

        May 24, 2016 at 6:44 pm

        Good choice. Why, I also have a pair of Sony … wait a minute … I don’t have any headphones, just a pair of B&O earpods I got with frequent flyer points when I was bored on a long flight.

  4. it could be that people bought the ones they thought were best not the other way around lol

  5. To be fair, all I said were that mine hadn’t exploded, not that they were the best. But that’s certainly an attractive feature, so they pretty much are the best. EVAR.

  6. Why do they call them headphones anyway?
    – you can’t dial them.
    – there is no monthly plan or call waiting.
    – are there Shoulderphones? Toephones? Heartphones?

  7. Whatever the headphones for the love of jah, get a fiio headphone amp. For $30 you won’t believe the improvement in sound quality. (I have no experience with other portable amps but have had a fiio e6 for more than 3 years almost daily usage works great. ) the fiio a1 appears to be the newest model it’s only about an inch and a half square.
    Fantastic quality for super nice price.

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