Enthusiasts, I am investing in myself, and in us; I have put a portion of the t-shirt profits back into the business.
You bought headphones.
Exactly! Can’t make t-shirts without listening to the Dead; can’t listen to the Dead without headphones; needed new headphones. It was an investment and I will be claiming it as such on my taxes, should I pay them.
Playing with fire there, buddy.
Oh, I’m sure the IRS has a sense of humor.
Right. So, what did you get?
Honestly?I got exhausted. The process was enervating. The world has become the scene from Moscow on the Hudson where Robin Williams goes to the American supermarket for the first time to get coffee, and there’s a massive wall of every brand and flavor you’ve ever seen, and he’s overcome and collapses. There’s too much choice, and too many choices.
You started looking up reviews, didn’t you?
And reading the comment sections.
God help me, I did.
Always a blunder. Did you solicit help from friends and associates?
From men and women of the highest caliber. People whose opinions I respect.
What did they say?
They all said that the headphones they owned were the best headphones.
Well-meaning, all of them. But then my brain started talking to me.
Right. My brain showed me this photo of Dead archivist David “That’s No” Lemieuxnitsaspacestation:
The man’s a silver fox.
They’re called silver moose in Canada.
Ah. And your brain brought up this fairly uninteresting photo for what reason?
He’s wearing headphones. And my brain was all, “Dude. That guy listens to Dead shows for a living.” And I said that there was more to his job than that, but my brain was at least a little bit right.
It wasn’t entirely wrong, no.
And then my brain said, “Just do what that guy does,” and I said, “Those are a little more than I wanted to spend, Brain,” and then I began counting things around the house and hearing voices and I forgot how numbers worked and my brain went, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I CAN DO TO YOU? DO WHAT I TELL YOU AND BUY THE HEADPHONES,” and I clicked the “Purchase” button and felt much better.
That didn’t happen.
In a way, it did.
Don’t blame things on your brain. You are your brain.
Right. Who am I speaking with right now?
Did you really buy the headphones that were out of your budget because you saw DL wearing them?
THE MAN IS A PROFESSIONAL DEAD-SHOW LISTENER!