Oh, no.

“Thoughts on my Ass! Look, I got a teevee show now!”

This will end poorly.

“Nah, I’m gonna kill it. Shit, I’m funnier than that little giggling fuckhead.”

Jimmy Fallon.

“And who’s that fat theater kid? Foreign one who won’t stop singing.”

James something-or-other.

“Fuck that guy. He looks like a grown Cabbage Patch doll. I’m gonna do late night right.”

I’ll regret this, but how?

“I got some bits. Stupid Skank Tricks.”

Not a good bit.

“Mickey’s gonna be my sidekick. Like Ed!”

He would be awful at that.

“I know, but he’s used to sitting next to me while I work.”

True. Who are your guests for your first show?

“Walton and Bobby.”

What about the second show?

“Bobby and Walton.”

You switched the order.

“Yeah, that way people won’t realize.”

I think they will.

“Already got a head writer.”


“Better. Al Franken.”

Franken’s gonna write for you?

“His schedule suddenly opened up.”