Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Here’s A Half-A-Dollar If You Dare To Eat A Peach

dead shirt
Hey, Billy.


Getting a lot of use out of that shirt this summer, huh?

“It’s understated. Like saying that Benjy will be late to work tomorrow.”

You kill him again?

“Buncha times since we talked, yeah. Just won’t take. He’s some sort of Spazarus.”

Nicely done.


Should’ve stood pat.

“Sure. But, yeah: I keep burying him and he keeps showing up fresh as a daisy with a new pair of giant headphones.”

Literally or–

“I’ve actually buried him alive more than once.”

–figurativ…of course.

“Can’t be done. He can’t be killed. Stapled geckos to him and let the eagles loose, filled his scuba tank with hydrogen and blew him up like the Hindenburg, put him in blackface and shoved him towards a cop: he’s back the next morning.”

Fresh as a daisy.

“Go figure.”

Guy on the left looks like Matthew Lillard with rabies.

“If you say so.”

Hey, Bobby.

“Hey, Dan. Thanks for having me on.”

I am not Dan Rather, Bobby.

“If you say so.”


  1. I am chortling mightily

  2. did u just use a frickin banana emoji at me

  3. Isn’t it time to extradite Benji to Alcatraz?

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