Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

He’s The Kind I Like To Flaunt, And Take To Dinner

Hey, John Mayer. You should’ve taken your Shrinky-Dink out of the oven sooner. I think you burned it.

“This is Tom Jones.”

No, boring novels are shaped differently.

“The singer.”

The Thunderball?

“The one and only.”

Wow, cool. Hey, John?

“Don’t.”

John?

“Shut the fuck up, please.”

Johnny?

“I’m not asking to see his dick.”

ASK TO SEE HIS DICK.

“No.”

It’s not gay.

“That’s not why I won’t do it. We’re at a bar.”

People take their dicks out in bars all the time.

“Not gonna happen.”

Follow him into the bathroom.

“This is why no one talks to you.”

Take a Snapchat with Tom Jones’ dick, John Mayer.

“Do you want to talk about y shirt, or do you want to talk about Tom Jones’ dick?”

The second thing.

“We’re done.”

6 Comments

  1. More like Tom Magliozzi, amirite?

  2. The lyrics to “she’s a lady” seem somehow related to the N-word post.

    I mean a man can surely sing “She’s a lady” to a lady, but he should mumble a few of the lines. Actually probably best to just say “Whoa Whoa Whoa she’s a lady” again and again and skip the rest.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      June 3, 2017 at 1:11 am

      I was actually just reading the lyrics to that song. They work if you’re talking about an actual child. It would be great if little girls were never in the way, and always had something nice to say. Similarly, it would be lovely to be able to leave them alone and know that there would be no messing.

      But about an adult human woman? Yeesh.

  3. Not part of the conversation, but a guitar collector associate of mine texted me that the Wolf had sold for 1.9 Million. Looked through to see if I missed a recent post about it, but there was digital oblivion until February post that announced the auction. Jim Irsay blew it or he didn’t want any of his hard earned money going to the SPLC. As a guitar collector, The Wolf would be a cooler guitar to own than the later ones that Irsay leaves in a glass case. .

    http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/jerry-garcias-wolf-guitar-sells-for-19-million-w485198

    Being of Welsh descent I feel a certain affinity for Tom Jones. Great voice and a very odd human being. Didn’t the Manson girls want to kill Tom Jones as part of Helter Skelter and make him into a eunuch in the process? Maybe I am getting some Frank Zappa song confused with it so who knows. I saw this weird duet and thought I would share it:

    Tom was supposedly quite the swinger so he probably got it on with Pearl right after the shoot. I hope I die before I turn orange though. Does this happen to people as they get older?

    • I also totally respect Tom Jones.

      Dead connection, both covered Otis Redding’s “Hard to Handle”

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