Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

He’s The Kind Of Guy That Likes To Earthroam Around

You okay, slugger?

I did something dumb.

There’s still some quicklime left.

Quicklime? You don’t bury bodies here. You toss them into canals and the gators do the work for you.

Right. Did you actually kill someone?

No, worse.

Did you try downloading Snapchat again?

Yeah.

And you didn’t understand how it worked, or what it was?

These apps nowadays. They’re not like the apps we had growing up. There’s no soul to them.

Right. At least tell me you were going to use the Snapchat for pornographic purposes.

You were going to take screenshots of John Mayer’s Snapchat so you can make up your little stories?

He’s back in the Earthroamer, and I he posted about it but this is the biggest shot I can find:

jm earthroamer gear snapchat

That is inadequate.

That word never looks right.

Inadequate?

Yeah.

How should it be spelled?

I don’t know. Am I an pint-sized black orphan adopted by a linebacker who went on to write a dictionary?

You’ve got your Websters all mixed up.

The point being: I find it rude of Young John Mayer to not post many excellent shots of himself and his Dead & Company bandmates in his Earthroamer on a social media platform I am capable of accessing, or understanding. Not right. Sad!

Please don’t do that.

How dare he! After I allowed him to become a Grateful Dead!?

These kids today.

And their apps.

Sure, slugger.

2 Comments

  1. At some point in the early 90s, Jerry Garcia, Bruce Hornsby, Rob Wasserman and Edie Brickell were supposed to do a tour, Maybe I have some details wrong, but it doesn’t matter–they did a little recording together, and wanted to take it out on the road. This concept was vetoed by Brickell’s husband, Paul Simon. Simon’s fear? That Edie would have an affair with Jerry Garcia.

    Now, in the early 90s Jerry was fat, middle-aged and generally unappealing, except for his inherent Jerry-ness. But that was enough.

    Suffice to say, if the Jer was still with us, John Mayer would not be allowing Ms Katy Perry backstage. Going to Paul Simon’s house, or hanging with tall, handsome, gentlemanly Bruce Hornsby:? Sure. Joining Rat Dog? Sure. But burning one with Jer? Nada.

    I know this sounds unreal, but I don’t do that.

  2. i never knew that, corry, but it does seem plausible. simon’s previous wife and jerry did share a moment of sorts. she wrote about it in her memoir. they may have shared a mutual attraction to heroin more than each other, but still.

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