Hey, Bill Walton. Whatcha doing?
“Loving America at the top of my lungs!”
“You know what’s from America? Basketball.”
“The whole West Coast of America is in America. All of it, and it’s great. West Coast best coast.”
“The Dead’s from America.”
That should end the conversation.
“I know, right? Any country that produces the Grateful Dead must by the transitive property be the best country. That’s just algebra.”
Where did you even find an Uncle Sam coat to fit you?
“Big & Tall & Patriotic shop.”