Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Hey Benj, Nice Shot

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“Watchtower, I have the shot.”

“Copy that, Archangel. Hold.”

“Holding.”

“What’s he doing?”

“Being himself as hard as he can.”

“Copy. Hold.”

“Archangel, confirm: is the target wearing boots in July?”

“That is an affirmative.”

“Copy. Hold.”

“Watchtower, an update: target taking selfies.”

“Copy, Archangel. Stick? Over.”

“Negative. No stick. Over.”

“Target is on the move. Can I shoot him or not, Jill?”

“What did I say about names, Peter?”

“Well, just make up your mind! Walton killed him yesterday; I don’t see why we can’t.”

“Hold, Archangel.”

“Copy, Watchtower.”

“Abort. Abort.”

“Seriously? C’mon, lemme shoot him.”

“Oh, that’s what I meant: abort Benjy.”

“Finally some decision-making in this organization.”

SHWOKKATHOOM

“Tell Chimenti to bring his van.”

“Idling out back.”

“Check his wallet for cash.”

“Duh.”

7 Comments

  1. maggiemay

    Okay but, is this guy a giant try hard dingus? I can’t even tell anymore

    • thoughtsonthedead

      All that and more

      • maggiemay

        Oh my god. I literally just realized that Benjy is the guy who helped Billy write his book.

        Man, he seems like a giant tool. Sorry Benj. Hope he doesn’t see this. 🙁

        • thoughtsonthedead

          Nah, he doesn’t seem the type to google himself.

          • maggiemay

            oh my GOD

  2. Estimated_0 (@Estimated_0)

    “What did I say about names?” Reminds me of one of my favorite moments radio history.

    David Ganz: “hello and welcome to tales from the Golden Road. We’ll be getting to calls shortly, but first we have a special anonymous guest interview, an anonymous blogger with a terrific anonymous website I stumbled upon called Thoughts on the Dead, offered by an anonymous man who wishes to remain anonymous. Producer, do we have our special anonymous guest on the line to answer our questions anonymously?”

    Producer: “yeah Pete’s on the line, so whenever you’re ready I can put Pete on the air.”

    Ganz: “Okay. Well, Um. So, our formerly anonymous guest Pete is on the line…………………of course Pete isn’t his real name.”

    Producer: “Sorry, I thought….” [neck snapped by Bill Walton]

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