There’s this new tumblr I like, Phil is weird, I think that’s the name. Funny pictures of Phil and funny captions and Phil is exceedingly goofy, just all the time and I haven’t seen most of these pictures: this Tumblr guy is a Google ninja and I salute him (or her,
but let’s be honest, him.)*
Are you shitting me? When you saw the site, you sulked for an hour, muttering darkly, “Somebody’s being funny about the Dead on the internet: that’s MY thing, I invented that.” You whined like a kicked kitten.
None of that is true.
And then you stole all the pictures you could and reposted them on your little site, didn’t you?
I did that. Yes, I did.
But Phil’s just an amateur, man.
* It’s a lady. A pretty, pretty–
I’m warning you, buddy.
–lady. I’ve already planned our Wedding. The groomsmen have to wear Bobby shorts, then the Best Man locks himself in the upstairs bathroom for three hours.