- “Let’s limit the ‘Asian men have small dicks’ jokes to one a page, please.”
- “The Vietnam War did not end in a tie.”
- “Neither did the Civil War.”
- “If you have no evidence to back up your assertion that Hillary Clinton eats her own vaginal discharge in front of her staff, then we cannot print it.”
- “An entire chapter on how much you hate ugly people is unnecessary.”
- “‘I suck black cock, so I can’t be racist,’ is not an argument; it is merely two assertions, only one of which is provable and no we are not including a picture of you sucking black cock.”
- “Not only are all Mexicans not illiterate, but the country has a long tradition of literary excellence.”
- “Abraham Lincoln was not a cuck.”
- “Five pages is a bit much for a description of your skin-care regimen, to say nothing of the two chapters on entitled Shampooing and Conditioning.”
- “What does the phrase ‘Climate Change is for fags’ even mean?”
- “Everyone knows what you’re doing when you describe Obama’s economic policies as ‘niggardly.'”
- “Who taught you how to use a semi-colon?”
- “Phrenology is not a real science.”
- “You may not refer to transgenders as ‘shims.'”
- “Being banned from Twitter is in no way comparable to anything Anne Frank went through; please choose a different analogy.”
- “Ronald Reagan did NOT end the Cold War by ‘fucking Russia in her sloppy ice-pussy until she cried Uncle Sam.'”
- “There is no need to point out that Kissinger is Jewish every time you reference him.”
I’m not making this shit up, man.
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