Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Hip Hip Hooray

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Hey, hippo.

“Oh, hey. How are you? Water’s nice. Come on in.”

I know this trick. Killer whale tried it on me a few times.

“Trick? No trick. Fine: don’t swim. Why don’t you take a relaxing paddle in a canoe?”

Stop that.

“I’m fooling with you.”

Really?

“No, I would eat you.”

I thought hippos were vegetarians.

“Territorial vegetarians. If I could work a gun, I’d shoot ya. Can’t. Gotta eat ya.”

Listen, hippo: if anyone’s eating anyone, then I’m eating you. You have the person/animal power dynamic backwards. You are a captive of humans.

“Captive shmaptive: I’m standing in a pool of water getting the right amount of food. This is heaven for a hippo.”

You don’t yearn for freedom?

“Holy shit, do I not understand that sentence. I’m standing in a pool of water getting the right amount of food. I win. There’s nothing more to aspire to for a hippo.”

Congratulations?

“Thanks.”

Are we friends now?

“Sure. But if you come anywhere near me, I’ll eat you.”

Cool.

4 Comments

  1. This is how i picture you…..

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