Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Holes In The Knees Of My Buttocks

phil teeth bobby shorts buttI would say that there are no words, but that would be a lie: I have many, many words for this, some of which I will make up.

As an appetizer, though: I believe this might be the only image ever captured of the back of Snake T-Shirt, and we can see that Snake T-Shirt is just as wonderful as we thought he was. Snake T-Shirt demands a 360-degree view of his awesomeness.

But for our meal, we must have goose, for it is as good as gander – Things Bobby’s Shorts Are Appropriate For:

  • Smoking Marlboro Reds outside the 7-11.
  • Using your youthful feminine wiles on chemistry teachers.
  • Arguing with your parents.
  • Running away from home because they don’t fucking understand you.
  • Going to LA to be a star.
  • A singer, maybe.
  • Or an actress, whatever.
  • And, listen: we all know where this is going, so let’s just skip to the part where they find parts of you in a dumpster in Toluca Lake.
  • Not all of you; they never find all of you.
  • Back home, your chemistry teacher hears the news and drives his car off a cliff.
  • Are you happy now?
  • Have you caused enough damage in those things?
  • If you were Australian, you could wear those to a wedding or a funeral or court.

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