Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Horny Billy

“Ass! I got horns on my dick!”

ahhROOOOOOOOOOga

Nice dick-horns, Billy.

“Gonna play ’em again!”

ahhROOOOOOOOOOga

That is a very comical sound. What’s with the headphones?

“Listening to the game. Got five grand on the Pistons.”

Holy shit, is that a ponytail?

“I’m going through one of my mid-life crises.”

One of?

“Yeah, I’ve had like a half-dozen. I grow my hair out, buy a sports car, and start plowing real young skank.”

How is that different from your normal life?

“I told you: I grow my hair out.”

Right.

“Real young, too. Wait, maybe not. When am I?

1992.

“Still socially acceptable! Real young, too.”

Jesus, Billy.

“I got a whole system with ’em: first I get ’em an all-day sucker.”

And then?

“Then I buy ’em a lollipop.”

Badum bum.

“I can’t help myself. They’re still covered with, like, a downy fur.”

You’re talking about baby ducks.

“Tawny. With a dewy lip. Oh, Ass, they’re loamy of loin.”

Stop being weird and obscure.

“Loamy!”

Stop it.

“I actually use these horns on the skank.”

In God’s name, how?

“Stick in in their crotches and blast it off. If y’hear an echo? Find new skank.”

We’re done.

1 Comment

  1. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    March 22, 2017 at 12:07 pm

    Locomotive air horns space!!! Extra credit if you can ID the show.

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