- Light them on fire.
- Grab their small children and run away.
- Wear scuba gear at all times.
- Go to your Wall Street job in flippity-flops and Bobby shorts, and when your overseer says, “Hey, what the fuck, fucker? We wear suits,” and you smack him in his forehead with the ‘flop and go, “You’re not gonna forget this shit,” and he played rugby in college and he tackles you and breaks your collarbone, and then when he’s laying on top of you he goes, “Now you’re not gonna forget it, either,” and then you kiss, you kiss so fucking hard, and he rawdogs you on the commodities desk.
- Leap at them from behind a tree wearing a hockey mask.
- Molest them.
Not cool! Way over the line.
Don’t take your darkness out on the nice people.
The nice people are so lovely.
They are. Did you think they were going to call and ask if you’d like to write the Amazon show?
Just write the whole show?
I have an outline in my head.
They were going to give you, who according to IMDB does not exist, a teevee show to write?
One of the shows was gonna be one long shot through Winterland in ’74.
How very prestige.
And we were gonna do one episode live.
Amazon is a streaming service.
I was gonna make it work.
These are not good ideas.
I’m casting all black, and if you say that’s a bad idea, then it makes you racist.
No. No, it does not.
I will not have the Grateful Dead whitewashed.
There is no washing required to make the Dead white.
There was gonna be a lot of political commentary.
Oh, God, no.
At one point, Amazon-show Phil was gonna read the Bill of Rights in front of a flag.
To make a statement.
Let it go.