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Hey, Bobby’s Tush.

“Oh, hey. I’m my own character now? Great, great.”

I already regret this.

“I mean, cuz I saw several discussions with Garcia’s moobs and you gave Billy’s mustache an advice column–”

None of that is true.

“–so I was wondering when Mr. Big Shot Blogginator would get to little ol’ me.”

This attitude is unhelpful, at best.

“Well, can you blame me? Look at Schlumpfy over there. Jesus, even his shoes are, like, the pajamas of shoes.”

Speaking of shoes, the hi-top Cons are killing it.

“We weren’t speaking about shoes. We were speaking about me, Bobby’s Tush.”

Anyone ever tell you that you’re full of shit?

“THAT IS AN ANTI-SEMITIC REMARK AND I DEMAND AN APOLOGY.”

You’re Jewish?

“I converted.”