Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

I Believe The Randos Are Our Future

phil storytime

“I have randos, too.”

Phil, those aren’t randos. They’re children.

“Little randos.”

That’s terrible. But, yeah, kinda.

“I have a scarf, also.”

Are you jealous? Was I paying too much attention to Bobby?

“Absolutely not. I have a restaurant and bocce courts and a book about lions and little randos. I have everything I need.”

And an Apple Watch. You can play Dick Tracy with that thing.

“It doesn’t do FaceTime, actually.”

You’re shitting me.


The whole point of the thing is playing Dick Tracy!

“It has many other features.”

Such as?

“It tells you when you need to look at your phone.”

Your phone tells you that.

“Listen: I have more computing power on my wrist than they had to go to the moon with; I think that’s cool.”

All you had to say.

“What the hell’s Bob up to?”

Canada invited him up to talk about science.

“Bob Weir?”



No idea. He raised a bunch of money for charity, though.

“He could have done that without talking about science.”

Sure, but it wouldn’t have been as fun.

“How’d he do?”

He aggressively defended phrenology, then claimed the “S” in “STEM” stood for “solemnity.”

“Sounds right.”

Y’know, this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

“C’mon, man: the Dead have always been family-friendly.”

Oh, no: there were children wandering around. That doesn’t make it family-friendly.

“Whatever. I like it. Kids are cute, they like the stories, it’s fun.”

I said nothing to the contrary.

“The adults are a pain-in-the-ass.”

I continue to agree with you. What specifically?

“There’s a Taper’s Section right outside the frame of the picture.”


“There’s three guys streaming Storytime With Phil. I understand when we play, but this is just weird.”


“A couple chicks are noodle dancing.”

To what?

“There’s no music. I’m reading a story to children. And yet: noodle dancing.”

Well, you know: if a Grateful Dead stands still in public long enough, a Taper’s Section and noodle dancing will generate themselves.

“That’s not untrue.”


  1. Luther Von Baconson

    May 17, 2016 at 10:40 am

    it’s a message “Wall Glass 4-Play”

  2. NoThoughtsOnDead

    May 17, 2016 at 11:24 am

    I see at least two parents-with-cameras in the background (one’s a phone), so yeah: Taper’s Section, every time.

  3. Garcia had a briefcase. Naturally PL had a cushion-case for his Wednesday set of Classic Heineken collectibles, from days of yore.

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