Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

I Don’t Want To Tie You Down


“C’mon, man.”


“Not now.”



You gonna pork her?


She has the boy hair, and you have the girl hair.

Get in there.

“Can I go?”

Get IN there.

“Really, man: enough.”

Tell her you’re Glenn Frey.

“Why would I do that?”

Chicks dig Glenn Frey.

“Chicks dig me.”

Not like they dig the Smuggler.

“I do all right, man.”

Honk her boobs.

“I’m not gonna do that.”

Butt bongo.

“Cut it out.”

Buy her a milkshake.

“Is that a weird sex thing?”

No, it’s a dessert beverage.

“Ah. Just a milkshake.”

Yeah. I mean, you could put your dick in it. That would make it a weird sex thing.

“Sure. I don’t, uh, think they’re doing milkshakes at this party.”

They got a bathroom?

“Of course.”

Take her in there. Bump and a hump.


Coke and a poke.


Snow and a blow.

Nose candy gets hoes randy.

“We’re done.”


  1. She is trippin so hard, she is talking to his tie.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    February 3, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    Laurie’s got a big set of mitts on hers. A flute of champagne would be a thimble-like in her hands.

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