Enthusiasts, I need you to sit down. A chair, a chaise, yoga-style: however you prefer to relax. Just get off your feet, dammit, because I have some news that will knock your socks off. Your socks cannot be knocked off if you’re standing; the weight of your body will trap the stockings in place, causing a friction-fire, and your toes will burn like summer camp marshmallows.
Okay. You ready? Deep breath. (If you want to take that deep breath with a bong attached to your lips, then that would work.)
Here we go: it turns out that a billionaire is an asshole. I am as shocked as you are.
The owner of Coachella is a guy named Phillip Anschutz. (Anschutz was not a military strategy pursued by the Nazis, but it sounds like one if you mispronounce it.) Phil likes giving money to anti-gay groups, and climate deniers, and holy shit does that man hate him some unions. He contributed to some folks that call themselves the Mission: America Coalition.
This is what their website looks like:
Fun fact: MAC believes in travel restrictions on the HIV+.
Financial fact: save money by buying whole babies and butchering them at home.
Phillip Anschutz made his fortune in gas and oil: he stuck shit into the earth and money came out. He continues apace.
P.S. Ooh, Toots and the Maytalls.
Seeing this lineup yesterday allowed me to rediscover how much I love Time Tough – gotta thank Mr. Anschutz for that.
Excellent little documentary featuring Mr.Toots Hibbert. .. https://youtu.be/ZPMzOfabZGE
Right Guard deodorant gig featuring Toots acoustic and and people who dance like me! … https://youtu.be/vNBY-Yu7UDQ
Lucky for you Coachella is awful and you won’t miss a thing. Bottle rock put on by the good people at Pandora has a nice lineup in Napa this year. Tom petty, Modest Mouse, Band of Horses… to name a few.
I am sure in a few years it will be as tracked out as Coachella but for now
I have heard of precisely 6 of those acts. But I gotta say, “Sweatshop Boys” is a pretty funny name. “Kig Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard” thinks they’re clever, but their not.
…and a propos of nothing, “Astral Weeks” is the most over-rated 7 minutes and six seconds in popular music history.
And what’s with the microscopic font for “and the,” “& the,” “&,” etc.? It’s not like they didn’t have the poster real estate, and, it just looks stupid. And, why is “and the” stacked with Toots but on the same line with Francis and the Lights and The Head and the Heart? And why do I even care?