I’m Not Made Out Of Stone

“You cryin’ again, boy? Every damn year! March come ridin’ up on that lamb and you start lyin’ about!”

C’mon, man.

“You don’t like the 8th? It was rough to ya?”

Day I was born.

“Poor you! Worst thing happened to ya was ya started drawin’ breath? Were ya sick and alone, all your friends gone? Were ya 27 goddamn years old on the floor o’ some apartment somewhere?”

Guess not.

“Ain’t been forgotten like the Pig! You just a little obscure for your ego.”

Yeah, could be.

“What flag you pledge your allegiance to this morning?”

Old Glory.

“Well, how ’bout that! You an American! Ain’t nothin’ beyond ya! Americans went to the moon! Americans put Hitler n the ground! Americans built the Great Wall of China!”

I don’t know about that last one.

Don’t stop him. He’s on a roll.

“Who the hell was that!?”

Don’t worry about him. Keep talking.

“You been waitin’ on phone calls! Lookin’ in the mailbox! Hopin’ and wishin’ when you should be sweatin’ and strivin’!”

I don’t know, Pig. Seems like it’s getting tougher.

“What: life? Livin’ ain’t tough! Try dyin’!”

I don’t want to do that.

“Yeah, I didn’t either. Ain’t got no choice towards that. Long as you on the earth ‘stead of in it, then you got choices, boy.”

Y’know, you might be the smartest Grateful Dead.

“Think I don’t know that? Why you think I stopped hanging out with those dopesuckers?”

Heh.

“The Pig’ll never steer ya wrong! Don’t take no advice from the livin’! They all got agendas! Worried about legacies and their wallets!”

You’re right.

“I know I’m right! Go out and drink yourself some whiskey! Sing some blues! Find yourself a black girl!”

…

“Actually, you shouldn’t drink yourself no whiskey.”

Nah.

“But the lesson about the blues and black girls still stands.

Good lesson.

“The Pig’s the best damn teacher there is.”

Hey, Pig: remind everyone about the Donate Button.

“WHO THE HELL IS THAT?”

A soul I’m in communion with.

“You oughta get a divorce!”

I’ve tried.