Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

I’m Not With Them

Why not go all the way? Forget “Fake Jerry in front of a Fake Wall.” That’s not even Bush League; that’s some shrub-level bullshit there. If you’re gonna do something, do something. Get a pillow and make Kadadoodle (or whatever the fuck his name is) jam it in his shirt, and then sprinkle talcum powder in his hair like a 2nd-grade production of Cocoon: The Musical. Put the Bobby in short shorts, and hack out the Phil’s liver, and make sure your drummers are terrible parents. And don’t forget the Road Crew! It’s not really authentic, it’s not truly an honor to The Boys, until you press a local theater troupe into improving the day away as the much-storied Road Crew.

Ah, hell: fuck it. Dig Pigpen up. You know what his gravestone says. “Now and forever a member of the Grateful Dead.” Yeah? Make him prove it. Borrow a shovel and scoop that fat/skinny fucker up, arrange his bones in front of a gen-u-ine rotating Leslie speaker, and then get a dog to steal his femur so you can recreate that shot from the Touch of Grey video.

Stop pussyfooting.

Let’s go all the way.

12 Comments

  1. Not gonna lie, I love John K. As to the name, think he said “Kad ill a check”

  2. Why are you so stressed out by this?

  3. Jrad is still the best fake Dead. Going to see DSO in June for the first time out of sheer curiosity.

    • Have been a big DSO fan for 20 years; their ability to recreate particular era sounds and arrangements is great and wonderful. But JRAD is by far the tightest and most exciting jam band on the road today; their teases and segues alone are worth the price of admission.

  4. Did someone say “Go all the way? ”

    Please…?

    • HAH! Amazingly, just TODAY (ie, Wednesday) I heard the otherwise Unmemorable “Wrong Way Feeling” from HHTF and thought, “Weir totally stole this riff/melody from the Raspberries.”

      It’s All One Song, MAAAAANNNN. 😀

  5. 21st Century Dead

    April 11, 2018 at 9:42 am

    Just want to point out that Chimenti was playing in the same band as Kadlecik at this”festival,” so even angels aren’t free of sin

    • Ah, the duality of Chimenti. The only person who simultaneously is and never has been a Grateful Dead. Was he playing Brent’s Hammond or a cardboard Hammond case (with Stealie on it) encompassing a Casio PT-80? That’s the best way to gauge his particular state of existence at any moment.

  6. Luther Von Baconson

    April 11, 2018 at 11:06 am

    .

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