Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Imminent, Front

The Tesla 3 was announced the other day; it’s more acoustic-based than the first two albums, but has the worst cover. It is also a go-cart built by a Communist, but hundreds of thousands ponied up the grand for the deposit, anyway.

This is what it looks like:

tesla 3

For all its novelty, the 3 looks like a Hyundai, except for the front of the car, which looks like a Ken doll’s genital area. I understand the impetus behind removing the grille–the car no longer needs to suck in air–but it seems like they forgot to finish the thought and design something to replace it. Perhaps it was on Elon Musk’s to-do list and then a rocket blew up and he meant to get to it: you know how life is.

And–like everything else in the world–the Tesla 3 has a Dead connection. In this article from Mashable–which is a word, I suppose–we learn that the line for these cars is simply uncuttable, as even Lillian Monster has to wait for one. This is the picture the article used:


Looking past the Sunoco patch, which I’m sure was sewn onto the suit by accident, I couldn’t help but wonder why Lillian Monster looks so familiar.

[PDF] Ricky Bobby Returns!

Ah. There it is.


  1. Abracadabra Holmes

  2. Hate to say it, already hate myself for it..

    But here goes..
    Both of them are wearing too much makeup, but one of them is a self delcared vegan hippie chick, so whatever she has covered her face with had better be organic.

  3. The hilarious thing is the guy who writes The Oatmeal webcomic totally did skip the line for his Tesla, because he writes comic-strip reviews of them & is a huge fanboy and tweeted at Elon Musk about it


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