In the spirit of my recent diatribes about cassettes and their various players, and in honor of my brand-new Sony MDR-7506‘s, I was going to do a similar post about the history of headphones; I got maybe halfway through Googling it when I stopped caring and decided I couldn’t inflict that on you. There are certainly some who care an inordinate deal about headphones, but I have not even a surface curiosity. There’s the ones you put in your ear, and the big ones that sound good, and the shitty little ones you get on the plane.
But: someone mentioned that they were in the market for a new pair of headphones, so in the spirit of public interest, I will present my initial thoughts in the semi-popular FAQ format.
Am I back in the band?
No. This is a guest spot.
Get on with it.
You suck. Fine: How is the Sony MDR-7506?
“Are.” How are the–
Please don’t correct my grammar. I was referring to the pair of headphones.
Not with that wording you weren’t, mister.
It is one object.
You have a pair of ears.
CHRIST ON THE HIGHWAY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO FUCKWITS?
He started it.
I probably did, yeah.
Just try to help people.
I was trying.
Cuz you’re a try-hard.
What features does the Sony–
“DO!” FUCKING “DO!”
FUCK YOU, IT’S “DOES!”
Shut the fuck up. You’ve failed. This is a failure. Add it to the list.