Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

In Temples, Once Were Gold

For the younger Enthusiasts, this is the old Boston Garden; they tore it down 20 years ago or so and the new building, I’m sure, is pleasant and all the views are sterling and no one has to piss in a trough, whereas in the old Garden (pronounced Gahd’n) there were pillars and beams in the middle of sections and both men’s and women’s bathrooms featured a communal trough.

(It should be noted that there was a small but not insignificant chance of getting stabbed before you ever made it to the bathroom, which would mean you didn’t have to use the trough. Personally, TotD would prefer the stabbing.)

Like most of the surrounding city, the Garden was completely drenched in the vomit of the Irish, which is made up of equal parts half-digested potatoes and patricidal rage. On any given night, once could start a mezzanine-encompassing brawl by shouting “Fuck you, Sully.”

The showpiece of the Boston Garden was the parquet floor. Another Boston sports icon is a wall. If someone painted a Bruins logo on a door, idiots from Boston would worship that, too.

(For those Enthusiasts from Boston currently steaming and screaming, I offer this in my defense: Pesky’s Pole. A fucking pole.)

It was tiny, though, with all the seats right bang on top of each other and almost straight up-and-down: it was built for boxing, so the sections swamped over the floor like a vulture’s hunched neck and once the show started, there was just fuck-all for security, so you could go wherever you wanted and, hey: the Dead’s playing.

Stop complaining; it’ll be over soon.


  1. Oh, and the Grateful Dead played some great music there,fa sha!

  2. I need to post a photo but idk how to pls help it’s really funny

    • I have no idea

      • FUCK

        ok it was a screenshot from the Boston Garden Wikipedia page and it read, in the section pertaining to notable performances, this one specific to the Dead:
        “The Dead did not play at the Garden for a number of years following an incident in which they were caught grilling lobsters on a fire escape before a performance.” and idk why but that made me roll over with laughter (I’m actually a sloth, I rarely get off the floor).

    • Imgur will solve you picture-posting woes

    • How To Post A Photo 101
      – In your web browser, right click on the image
      – Pick “View Image” from the context menu
      – The image’s link (url) will now show in the browser’s address bar
      – Copy the link and paste it into your WordPress comment. When you Post the comment, the image should appear.

      Congratulations, You now have a PHD in Pilfering Web Photos. UR Welcome. šŸ™‚

  3. Sir Luther Van Baconson

    June 19, 2015 at 11:01 am

    Nutrocker WSBK

  4. So much win here. I’ve lived here for, like, ever, but probably will probably always be an outsider if only for nonacceptance of Boston sports nonsense. I almost got in a fight once for suggesting that, if a grown man cannot get his knees into half the seats, then the baseball park objectively sucks. Also, the new Garden is somehow kinda also a subway station. Also also: I grew up with NL baseball and the DH is completely unsporting.

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