Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Irma God

“Oh, hi there!”

Ah, fuck.

“Language, young man. My gosh, look at you! Such a skinny minny. Let me fix you something.”

That’s okay.

“It’s no bother. How’s your brother? His leg work yet?”

Irma, please stop acting like a Midwestern mom.

“They named me Irma, I’m gonna act like an Irma. You want Jello?”

What color?


Okay, fine.

“Cool beans. We’re gonna have so much fun on my little visit.”

You don’t have to come.

“Oh, I want to. Can’t wait. Been on the Facebook all week about the trip. I think I might do a little redecorating while I’m there.”

Isn’t there anywhere else you’d rather go?

“Than Florida? Where could be better? That’s America’s Vacationland!”

Dammit. Well, if you must come to this swampdick of a state, could you visit Disney? Or the Keys? Anything 200 miles to the left or right of me, please?

“Oh, nooo. There’s only one thing in Florida I want to see.”

Don’t say–

“Mar-A-Lago, the Winter White House.”


“Is that close to you?”

Nah. Not that close. There’s almost two whole towns in between me and it.

“Oh, that’s super! I could stop by.”

Call first.

“You’ll hear me coming.”


“You have a good day now!”



  1. They are beautiful from space..

    Me I like the GOES East with the Rainbow Infrared enhancement,

    Sucks about Florida though good luck, hope it blows out, or something.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    September 6, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    i’d like to squeeze it. see what pops out.

  3. Keep your head down.

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