Hi, there. Your socks are almost pants.
“Can clothing be ‘almost’ pants?”
Sure. You seen Bobby lately?
“I’ve noticed he has extra drawstrings on his trousers.”
Right? Like ten or twelve of them.
“What do they cinch?”
Got me. What fun we’re having. Do you know I once wrote a crime novel about a private detective named Legs Warner?
“Did you really?”
No, but I should.
“It’s not a terrible name.”
Are we dating now? If we are, I hope you’re rich.
“We are not. In fact–”
You have a boyfriend.
“–I have a boyfriend. Oh, there he is.”
Cant wait to see this one.
“WHO WANTS A NITROUS BALLOON ANIMAL?”
Who are you supposed to be, Wavy Gravy?
“NO, I’M HIS SON. WAVY DAVY.”