Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Is She Really Going Out With Him?

band 77 bw bobby longing

“Look at me, Mrs. Donna Jean! Hear my thoughts as I send them out towards your pigtails and modest, yet form-fitting, dress. READ MY MIIIIIIND, woman! Broadcast, Bobby does, his neurons and synapses doing…their…thing. I do not know what neurons and synapses do: no matter, my love!


“I know what my dong does. I know what it does to you. Remember that time you were going to sneeze, and I stopped up your nose with my penis? You thanked us both that day. Then, you sneezed on my penis. I was cool with that.”

“Shut up, Bobby. I’m ignoring you.”

“You CAN hear me!”

“You’re basically screaming across the psychic plane. My telepathic powers enable me to hear you if only you speak quietly.”

“It’s weird we’ve never discussed these telepathic powers before.”

“It is. Maybe we’ll discuss them at length in the coming days and then discard the idea again.”

“Love me, Mrs. Donna Jean! Love me back! Feel my gaze on your beauty, and my hands on your booty.”

“If you guys are done, Billy’s got a bunch of lines back here.”

“Who is this?”

“Get off the line.”

“It’s Phil. You two gotta cool it. Keith’s gonna figure this out.”

“Phil, you know that Keith is unable to hear any psychic conversations!”

“I did not know that. And it seems awful convenient. Irregardless, he wouldn’t even have to.”

“Yeah, Bob: your neck’s kinda losing its mind there.”




“Bobby, I gotta agree with everyone: you got a needy vibe coming off ya.”

“Who is this?”

“The skull Mickey’s holding.”

That’s enough.


  1. Oh my fuckin’ god this made my night

  2. Phil would never say “irregardless”.

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