And, lo, the doors opened and the horns did wail–a bleating, frantic squail–and the sky became as black as night, and the clouds drew knives from scabbards white as ghosts. The ocean turned to foam black as coal, and the waters of Lake Minnetonka no longer purified.
And thus the LORD did say, “Good luck with all this. See you tomorrow, maybe.”
And His creations said, “You’re just gonna go?”
And the LORD did say unto His creations, “I didn’t make this mess. The hurricane in Haiti? I did that. This? Nah. All you. You got this.”
And His creations said, “Dude, please?”
And the LORD did not any anything because He had shut His phone off.
It was a good run, though, wasn’t it? Bold, if nothing else. America put Babe Ruth on the moon, and invented democracy. James Brown was an American, or at least living in America at the time of Rocky IV, and that’s gotta count for something. America always did the right thing, eventually, kicking and screaming, and sometimes Lincoln’s better angels came in the form of the National Guard, but we got there in the end.
Nothing’s as bad as it seems, until it is, but maybe we’ll muddle through yet again. Have heart, Enthusiasts, and remember the last line of the Preamble from the Declaration of Independence:
Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.