Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World

We did songs named after women, Enthusiasts, so now let’s hear it for the boys.

Holy shit, that was terrible.

I’m owning it. I stand by that sentence.

You shouldn’t. It was fucking dire.

You’re not getting pardoned. I’m pardoning everyone else–Red Metal Stool and Jenkins and everyone–and you’re going to jail.

For what?

“Hello, I’m Cher.”


“Oh, no, I’ve been shot by an arrow.”


You’re going to prison for killing Cher, dipshit.

I didn’t do that!

She was a national treasure!

I hate you.

That’s a given, but what did Cher ever do to you besides make you dance? And make you feel?

I’m calling my lawyer.

Your lawyer is Anthony Scaramucci.


May I continue, or do I have to keep modifying reality around you?

Go on.

Thank you. So, Enthusiasts: let’s do guys!

Do you even hear yourself?

SHUT UP! Best song with a man’s name in the title is the question. Unlike the gynonymically-named songs, there’s not many where the name is strictly the dude’s name, so this time around there can be words other than the name in the title, such as Bad, Bad Leroy Brown or Careful With The Axe, Eugene. HOWEVER, we are still keeping the restriction on Dead songs, so no Casey Jones.

First person to suggest Hey Jude gets banned. Not even kidding. I would like to see someone try to argue for Jimmy Olson’s Blues by the Spin Doctors, though. Also: Dylan’s Joey is not making the finals because it’s not even the best song named Joey. (That would be the one by Concrete Blonde.)

Since it’s my site, I’ll go first.

Whatcha got?


  1. Without thinking about it, I was going to say Johnny Ryall after seeing Paul Revere. But after ReadingDoonesbury’s post I’ll go with Duran which was from an album named for a guy.
    And since this is a GD related site how about honorable mention for Kid Charlemagne.

  2. Robin Russell

    July 24, 2017 at 5:53 am

    Adam raised a Cain – Bruce Springsteen,

  3. Dooley- by the Darlins.

  4. “Michael Rockefeller” by Guadalcanal Diary

  5. The correct answer, of course, is “Hey Joe”, sung by Jimi. I would have been “Hang on Sloopy”, but Sloopy’s a gal…

  6. Fernando — ABBA

    Richard Cory — Simon and Garrkunkel

    Johnny’s Gonna Die — The Replacements

    Making Plans for Nigel — XTC

    Levon — Elton John

    Frankie Teardrop — Suicide

    Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner — Warren Zevon

    Stagger Lee — I till take the Nick Cave version here.

  7. Tom Sawyer — Rush

    Joe Stalin’s Cadillac, and We Saw Jerry’s Daughter — Camper Van Beethoven

    Abraham Lincoln — Clutch

    (I thought this one would be harder than the lady’s list, but it’s not. I guess dude songwriters like writing story songs about other dudes . . .)

  8. You are right that there just are not many songs named after a man, but I love an excuse to put up a video or three(sorry I am schizophrenic):

    1st Choice:

    2nd choice:

    3rd Choice:

    Once I got to Andy Warhol, the flood gates of songs named after men opened up so I will stop after this one because Glenn Frey looks too cool in this video:

  9. From the ridiculous, “Corporal Clegg”

  10. To the sublime, “Biko”

  11. Luther Von Baconson

    July 24, 2017 at 10:26 am

    cops been lookin’ for the Son of A Gun, who’s been rippin’ the tar off the 401

    take it away Billy Boy…….

  12. “Lester Hayes” by Lateef and the Chief

  13. Ron Sexsmith – Brandy Alexander

  14. “Johnny Too Bad”notable versions Taj Mahal Jerry Garcia, originally done by the slickers and written by a real bad man ( brother cousin? Of the band who ended on death row in ja.

    Does anyone know of any footage of Jerry doing Johnny too bad?

  15. Drinkthewater

    July 24, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    The Phoshes have a song called David Bowie that deserves consideration…

  16. I’ll be the d bag who actually names a Dead song. Lets be real though. it’s a truly great Dead song

  17. Well this is Ben, absolutely.

    JES voted 3million times, but Ben wins the electoral college

  18. Tragic Mullato “Freddy”

    Okay… you have to listen through till 1:40 when the lady sings the understandable part. From then on you will be hooked.

    This one is pure 80’s american punk. Topic is safe sex. Oh it is wonderful.

    “Don’t let em cum in your shoe, no don’t let em cum in your pooh”
    “Don’t let em cum in your butt, no don’t let em cum in your cut”

    • Whoa! I freakin’ LOVE Tragic Mulatto . . . Hooray to see them referenced anywhere, but most surprised to see it here!

      Their take on “Whole Lotta Love” is definitive, and Flatula wins best scream ever for her efforts on that one.

      I just inflicted “Rise Up/Get Down” on an unsuspecting friend via a mix CD, too. Still shilling for the most deserving and awesome TM.

  19. Changed my mind, “boy named sue”

  20. I was trying to think about a song sung by a chick about a guy but got reminded about this.

  21. Mean Mr Mustard

    July 24, 2017 at 9:44 pm

    I’d second both Miles’ “Willie Nelson” and “Bad Bad Leroy Brown.”

    John Lee Hooker “I’m Bad Like Jessie James” (Cafe a Go Go live version)
    Cortez the Killer – Neil Young
    Spoonman – Soundgarden
    David Bowie – Phish
    The Man Who Sold the World – David Bowie
    Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way – Waylon Jennings
    Willie, Waylon, and Me – David Allen Coe

    Things have become too circular so I should quit.

  22. Sean Flynn was the son of Errol Flynn. He left Hollywood of the 1960’s to become a wartime photojournalist. Things were slow in 1967 Vietnam so he bolted to cover the Six-Day War in Israel. After a week of hell, he went back to Vietnam. In 1970, he was traveling with some special forces in Cambodia when he was captured and never heard from again.

    • I am sorry, I can not stop.. should have thought more before I voted..

      I cast my vote for “Roland the headless thompson gunner”

      Sean Flynn reminded me of it.

  23. SmokingLeather

    July 25, 2017 at 4:29 am

    Pablo Picasso song.

  24. NoThoughtsOnDead

    July 25, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    Since I’m late to the party, I brought a dessert. The name “Mister” is right there in the title.

  25. NoThoughtsOnDead

    July 25, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    Lenny (SRV)

  26. I don’t know if anyone is still reading this thread but how about Frankenstein?

    Also, Victoria was mentioned for the ladies, but no one picked Arthur (Kinks).

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      July 26, 2017 at 3:19 am

      Hmm. I want a ruling from the Comment Section on this: is “Frankenstein” a man’s name? It’s a family name, technically, but in general parlance it refers to Victor. (Or the monster, who is also male.)

  27. And High Water for Charley Patton

  28. Luther Von Baconson

    July 26, 2017 at 11:10 am


  29. ronald shannon jackson’s Decoding Society live at Montreaux 1983
    ‘Tricky Vic’

  30. Sonnallamarooni

    July 26, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    Marvin Gaye 1972 ‘Frankie’

  31. Frankie a.k.a (what’s going on’) by Marvin Gaye

  32. Much better incredible historical footage of the son of a minister Marvin Gaye live 1972
    Frankie, aka what’s going on


  33. Defunkt

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