Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World

We did songs named after women, Enthusiasts, so now let’s hear it for the boys.

Holy shit, that was terrible.

I’m owning it. I stand by that sentence.

You shouldn’t. It was fucking dire.

You’re not getting pardoned. I’m pardoning everyone else–Red Metal Stool and Jenkins and everyone–and you’re going to jail.

For what?

“Hello, I’m Cher.”

THWOMP

“Oh, no, I’ve been shot by an arrow.”

FLUMP

You’re going to prison for killing Cher, dipshit.

I didn’t do that!

She was a national treasure!

I hate you.

That’s a given, but what did Cher ever do to you besides make you dance? And make you feel?

I’m calling my lawyer.

Your lawyer is Anthony Scaramucci.

Goddammit.

May I continue, or do I have to keep modifying reality around you?

Go on.

Thank you. So, Enthusiasts: let’s do guys!

Do you even hear yourself?

SHUT UP! Best song with a man’s name in the title is the question. Unlike the gynonymically-named songs, there’s not many where the name is strictly the dude’s name, so this time around there can be words other than the name in the title, such as Bad, Bad Leroy Brown or Careful With The Axe, Eugene. HOWEVER, we are still keeping the restriction on Dead songs, so no Casey Jones.

First person to suggest Hey Jude gets banned. Not even kidding. I would like to see someone try to argue for Jimmy Olson’s Blues by the Spin Doctors, though. Also: Dylan’s Joey is not making the finals because it’s not even the best song named Joey. (That would be the one by Concrete Blonde.)

Since it’s my site, I’ll go first.

Whatcha got?

49 Comments

  1. ReadingDoonesbury

    Willie Nelson.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRNIJwt2DtA

  2. mikemj

    Without thinking about it, I was going to say Johnny Ryall after seeing Paul Revere. But after ReadingDoonesbury’s post I’ll go with Duran which was from an album named for a guy.
    And since this is a GD related site how about honorable mention for Kid Charlemagne.

  3. Robin Russell

    Adam raised a Cain – Bruce Springsteen,

  4. ChadB

    Dooley- by the Darlins.

    • Tor Haxson

      Yes indeed

  5. JES

    “Michael Rockefeller” by Guadalcanal Diary

    https://youtu.be/qS0viTB5K4c

  6. Djembefoola

    The correct answer, of course, is “Hey Joe”, sung by Jimi. I would have been “Hang on Sloopy”, but Sloopy’s a gal…

  7. JES

    Fernando — ABBA

    Richard Cory — Simon and Garrkunkel

    Johnny’s Gonna Die — The Replacements

    Making Plans for Nigel — XTC

    Levon — Elton John

    Frankie Teardrop — Suicide

    Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner — Warren Zevon

    Stagger Lee — I till take the Nick Cave version here.

  8. JES

    Tom Sawyer — Rush

    Joe Stalin’s Cadillac, and We Saw Jerry’s Daughter — Camper Van Beethoven

    Abraham Lincoln — Clutch

    (I thought this one would be harder than the lady’s list, but it’s not. I guess dude songwriters like writing story songs about other dudes . . .)

  9. Wrayven

    You are right that there just are not many songs named after a man, but I love an excuse to put up a video or three(sorry I am schizophrenic):

    1st Choice:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JsuWz4xWc

    2nd choice:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKJNBxDCMIs

    3rd Choice:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGLvxlnTMaU

    Once I got to Andy Warhol, the flood gates of songs named after men opened up so I will stop after this one because Glenn Frey looks too cool in this video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo5rYD_Lb1Y

  10. Shaugn

    From the ridiculous, “Corporal Clegg”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn_E4bGgYJE

  11. Shaugn

    To the sublime, “Biko”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luVpsM3YAgw

    • Q-Tip

      Steve Biko (Stir It Up) by Tribe Called Quest

  12. Allthebeerscombine

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sCUW6VznAnU

  13. Luther Von Baconson

    cops been lookin’ for the Son of A Gun, who’s been rippin’ the tar off the 401
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtySGSuKZe8

    take it away Billy Boy…….

  14. Dubbzy104

    “Lester Hayes” by Lateef and the Chief

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=W4UyUAkNAIo

  15. Samallama

    Ron Sexsmith – Brandy Alexander

    https://youtu.be/eqscOh6z5SA

  16. Samallama

    “Johnny Too Bad”notable versions Taj Mahal Jerry Garcia, originally done by the slickers and written by a real bad man ( brother cousin? Of the band who ended on death row in ja.

    Does anyone know of any footage of Jerry doing Johnny too bad?

    • Tor Haxson

      Good song..

  17. Samallama

    https://youtu.be/yDMvqcWCZnI

  18. Drinkthewater

    The Phoshes have a song called David Bowie that deserves consideration…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgG8mXfhpCQ

  19. biscofresh

    I’ll be the d bag who actually names a Dead song. Lets be real though. it’s a truly great Dead song

    https://youtu.be/HRuaRcqvnzc

  20. Tor Haxson

    Well this is Ben, absolutely.

    JES voted 3million times, but Ben wins the electoral college

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxKd2uZSkgU

    • JES

      Fake rat! Sad!

  21. Tor Haxson

    Tragic Mullato “Freddy”

    Okay… you have to listen through till 1:40 when the lady sings the understandable part. From then on you will be hooked.

    This one is pure 80’s american punk. Topic is safe sex. Oh it is wonderful.

    “Don’t let em cum in your shoe, no don’t let em cum in your pooh”
    “Don’t let em cum in your butt, no don’t let em cum in your cut”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWv7HSDmiRg

    • JES

      Whoa! I freakin’ LOVE Tragic Mulatto . . . Hooray to see them referenced anywhere, but most surprised to see it here!

      Their take on “Whole Lotta Love” is definitive, and Flatula wins best scream ever for her efforts on that one.

      I just inflicted “Rise Up/Get Down” on an unsuspecting friend via a mix CD, too. Still shilling for the most deserving and awesome TM.

      • JES

        (Though I would have picked “My Name Is Not O’Neil” in this contest from them . . . )

  22. Tor Haxson

    Changed my mind, “boy named sue”

  23. dj5000000

    I was trying to think about a song sung by a chick about a guy but got reminded about this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftTOEJfzdq0

  24. Mean Mr Mustard

    I’d second both Miles’ “Willie Nelson” and “Bad Bad Leroy Brown.”

    Also:
    John Lee Hooker “I’m Bad Like Jessie James” (Cafe a Go Go live version)
    Cortez the Killer – Neil Young
    Spoonman – Soundgarden
    David Bowie – Phish
    The Man Who Sold the World – David Bowie
    Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way – Waylon Jennings
    Willie, Waylon, and Me – David Allen Coe

    Things have become too circular so I should quit.

  25. dj5000000

    Sean Flynn was the son of Errol Flynn. He left Hollywood of the 1960’s to become a wartime photojournalist. Things were slow in 1967 Vietnam so he bolted to cover the Six-Day War in Israel. After a week of hell, he went back to Vietnam. In 1970, he was traveling with some special forces in Cambodia when he was captured and never heard from again.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBWRyzQSJQM

    • Tor Haxson

      I am sorry, I can not stop.. should have thought more before I voted..

      I cast my vote for “Roland the headless thompson gunner”

      Sean Flynn reminded me of it.

  26. SmokingLeather

    Pablo Picasso song.

    https://youtu.be/GFSbLwAy5BQ

  27. NoThoughtsOnDead

    Since I’m late to the party, I brought a dessert. The name “Mister” is right there in the title. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-lX-Ovf6s0

  28. NoThoughtsOnDead

    Lenny (SRV)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEuKbE4MXPE

    • NoThoughtsOnDead

      ANOTHER “Mr.” – how cool.

  29. mikemj

    I don’t know if anyone is still reading this thread but how about Frankenstein?

    Also, Victoria was mentioned for the ladies, but no one picked Arthur (Kinks).

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      Hmm. I want a ruling from the Comment Section on this: is “Frankenstein” a man’s name? It’s a family name, technically, but in general parlance it refers to Victor. (Or the monster, who is also male.)

  30. mikemj

    And High Water for Charley Patton

  31. Luther Von Baconson

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08fOqihDIdk
    .

  32. Shamllama

    ronald shannon jackson’s Decoding Society live at Montreaux 1983
    ‘Tricky Vic’
    https://youtu.be/bZL88zT-LsM

  33. Sonnallamarooni

    Marvin Gaye 1972 ‘Frankie’
    https://youtu.be/jo-5MI9-yjU

  34. Samallama

    Frankie a.k.a (what’s going on’) by Marvin Gaye

  35. Samallama

    Much better incredible historical footage of the son of a minister Marvin Gaye live 1972
    Frankie, aka what’s going on

    Peace.

  36. Samallama

    https://youtu.be/EbZYRZpNc64

  37. Mr. Charlie

    Defunkt
    ‘Alejandro’

    https://youtu.be/F9OZZxvPG5g

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