jerry bob matthews


Hey, Garcia. Whatcha doing?

“Talking to Matthews. Feeling left out.”

Aww, what’s the matter, slugger?

“It’s all Trey this, and Chicago that, and Bruce this.”

Dude, the whole thing’s about you.

“Just seems like I’m not involved in the shows, y’know.”

You do remember that you died in 1995, right?

“Oh, sure, yeah.”

You stay away from the Time Sheath technology, mister.

“What about just one show? I sit in?”

Garcia, it’s been two decades. You can’t wander onstage. It would freak people out.

“Well, that’s fun, man! Bit of freak-out never hurt anyone.”

No, no.  A confirmed sighting of a guy who died 20 years ago wouldn’t be a good freak-out. This would be bad. And almost definitely global. Yeah, I’m certain: your presence would destroy civilization as we know it. Dead people stay dead or people completely lose their shit.

“What about Jesus?”

I think you just proved my point for me, buddy, so I’ll say it simply: your appearance at Soldier Field would–provably and directly–lead to the deaths of billions.

“Yeaaaah. This might be a ‘better safe than sorry’ situation.”

“What if I went, but wore a disguise and just watched?”

We’ll discuss it.