Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Jeff Chimenti: Superstar

[PDF] Picture - Jeff Chimenti of

Yo, Jeff!

“I have told you a number of times that I want no part of your little make-em-ups.”

Aw, c’mon, man. I’m a big fan.

“Well, thanks, but–”

Lookin’ forward to jammin’ with John? Will John be leading the band? Like, giving you cues? Will John Mayer be giving you cues, Jeff Chimenti, and how do you feel about that?

Is that what you were hoping for when you took up the piano at the age of four? To be John Mayer’s backing ensemble?

YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS, JEFF CHIMENTI, BUT obviously, you know: awesome fucking gig. Congratulations; your hair is a wonderland.

“I don’t want to–


“–be part of this.”


  1. That mustache needs to step out of the car for a sobriety test.

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