Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Jerry Garcia: Not A Jew

In the Comment Section, Corry (whose new illuminations of the Dead’s secret history can be read over at Lost Live Dead) mentions the rumor/gossip/idle speculation that Garcia–who was raised Roman Catholic–was in fact Jewish.

This belief may be plausible, if a bit far-fetched and semantic.

It may shock to you to know this, but Jews occasionally wake up one morning and can’t be Jews anymore. Or they can be Jews, but over there. With this many data points, it can be said that sporadic but intense spasms of societal violence pointed at the Jews is not a bug in humanity, but a feature.

Spain in the 1400’s was  a terrible time to be a Jew, as opposed to the 1300’s, when it was just mostly shitty. First of all, due to the accent, you were Yewish, which just sounds ridiculous. Second, as I mentioned, you couldn’t be a Jew anymore. Many left, and the rest became conversos, which means exactly what it sounds like.

Problem solved, right? Of course not: these are humans we’re talking about. It turned out that even though a Jew might say he was a Christian, he was probably lying because, you know: Jew. Conversos were also known as marranos, except the latter term had a much nastier connotation: a marrano was a secret Jew, simply pretending to be a decent Christian.

As is the usual course of events, people were dragged from their homes and murdered in the streets by their neighbors.

Getting back to Garcia: it is alleged that he is the descendant of one of these conversos or marranos and therefore Jewish. This theory would need about a dozen running starts to approach dumb, for many reasons. I enumerate thusly:

  1. It was 500 years ago.

That’s it. There’s also the questions of identity, ethnicity vs. race vs. religion, “Who is a Jew?”, “Who’s not a Jew?”, “Who’s kind of a Jew?*), etc.

But mostly the 500 years ago thing.


*Italians. Italians are kinda Jews. Not the real Italians, the ones from Jersey.

1 Comment

  1. Mel Brooks widened the franchise some time ago. How can you not know this?

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