Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Jive Five

mickey pelosi sarducci

Random observations:

  • Mickey is the derpiest of all Grateful Deads. Sure, Phil derps on occasion, but you will find that–most often–Phil is more of a goon than a derp. Mickey is straight-up derp.
  • Nudie suit is the answer to every fashion question. Wedding? Nudie suit. Funeral? Nudie suit. Astronaut? Nudie suit.
  • That might, by the way, be the only way to make astronauts more awesome: if their spacesuits were turquoise silk and covered in comets and stars made out of rhinestones.
  • Father Guido Sarducci is not employed by the Catholic Church in any capacity. It’s a guy named Don. The whole thing’s a put-on.
  • Who’s lost less hair: George Lucas or Phil? They are both Ãœbermensch of follicular retention.
  • Derp. Herp derp.
  • Besides that, Mickey failed to hit it off with George Lucas when he began the conversation with, “My old keyboard player liked black chicks, too.”
  • Although, in Mickey’s defense, George’s idea about the 50th Anniversary was to “make it as terrible as possible.”
  • (As you might have inferred, TotD belongs in the revisionist-history camp that believes everything good about Star Wars came from people not named George Lucas. See: Ralph McQuarrie, Irving Kershner, Richard Marquand.)
  • That’s Nancy Pelosi’s third of four facial expressions still available to her; she calls it Havin’ a Hootenanny and uses it on donors when they give her money.
  • There are books to be written and not read by me about the gender dynamic in (elective) plastic surgery, but this photo certainly points to the differing relationship of men and women towards their faces because–God love ’em–the men in this pic are letting their faces do whatever the fuck they want. There is no discipline.
  • Dammit, Mickey: comb your hair.


  1. Phil’s current hair is real?

  2. Sir Luther Van Baconson

    April 14, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Corey Hart’s high school ring on chain as tie? that’s Boss.

  3. I think the only sane approach to aging is to do as little as possible. If I look stupid, it can only be because of nature and maybe cheeseburgers. Never because of some weird, vain decision I’ve made.

    Also, fat dudes of the world: That artificial jawline beard thing isn’t fooling anyone.

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