Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Just Might Be Your Kind Of Zoo

img_2947Zoo World was some sort of brief and unmoneyed competitor to Rolling Stone for a few minutes in the early 1970’s and I can’t imagine why it folded.


“Yes, Boss?”

“How’s the cover for the January issue coming?”

“Not great, Boss. We couldn’t decide between fonts, so we just used all five.”


“Plus, you cannot read half the words. Just can’t make them out, and that’s before we print it onto that second-hand newsprint you bought from your friend, Rudy.”

“Big Rudy! Cheapest paper in town.”

“There’s a reason, Boss. There’s a reason Rudy is so cheap.”

“What else?”

“Picture’s rough.”

“How rough?”

“Only one of the guys in the band is even human-looking.”

“Which band is it again?”

“Grateful Dead.”

“Oh, that’s not the picture. That’s how they look.”


“Not a Deadhead, Jenkins?”

“I like hip-hop.”

“Jenkins, it’s nineteen seventy-fucking-four: you most certainly do not like hip-hop.”

And, so on.

PLUS, if you knew nothing about the Dead and looked at that picture and I told you that the guy on the left was about to leave the band, you would believe me.

ALSO PLUS, the men on either side of Billy are protecting their dicks. That’s muscle memory.


  1. Luther Von Baconson

    December 21, 2015 at 1:05 pm

    Garcia won that Turd Throw Champeenship, no? had an arm back in the day.

  2. A rare wildlife sighting – a Bobcat, a Turtleneck, and a Billy-goat partying down in Michael Jackson’s Petting Zoo.

  3. What kind of animal does that chimp launch?

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