Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Just The Facts

Title Deal: My Three Decades of Drumming, Dreams, and Drugs with the Grateful Dead.

Author Billy.

Guy Who Did The Actual Typing And Figuring Out Where The Commas Go Benjy Eisen.

Pages 400, with an eight page, full-color, high-gloss picture insert.

Pictures Of Billy’s Feet One, but he is holding a giant fish in the shot, so I think that should count for something.

Pictures Of Phil The same number as pictures of George Porter, Jr.

Pictures Of Current Wife One.

Pictures Of Ex-Wives

ISBN Number 1250033799.

Roll Another Number For the road.

Heft, Quotidian One-point-four pounds.

Heft, Subjective It’s, like, totally a real book and shit: it’s heavy. It is a book.

Price, Normal $27.99.

Price, Canadian $32.50. SUCK IT, LEMIEUX.

Price, Ethnic And/Or Terrible Places There is no one in all of South America who wants to read this book. South Americans are Iron Maiden fans, and are waiting for Nicko McBrain’s tell-all.

Release Date May 5th, 2015.

Which Makes It A Taurus.

Publishers St. Martin’s Press, which is a wonderful outfit with thoughtful people working there.

You Sound Unbiased The folks at St, Martin’s have the admiration of their children and the respect of their neighbors. They handle social situations with aplomb and make the environmentally-conscious choice instinctually.

Stop It They smell like guava and first kisses.

Index Yes, and it’s hilarious and its own post.

Bibliography Memoirs do not have these.

Back Cover Blurbs From Famous Friends Nope.

Foreword By Famous Friend Nope. Benjy Eisen did it.

Mickey Seems Like The Obvious Choice To Write The Foreword He does, doesn’t he? And still: Benjy Eisen.

Bobby Did One For Phil’s Book He did, yeah. Small point: Phil didn’t talk shit about Bobby in his book.

That’ll Do It Yeah.

Current Sales Position On Amazon, Overall 2o3rd.

Current Sales Position On Amazon, Memoirs 31st.

Current Sales Position In Our Hearts Number one, baby.

Shadiest Line In The Amazon “About The Author” Section About Benjy Eisen Upon completion of Deal, he cut a deal with Kreutzmann and is now his manager.

Wow I know, right?

It Suggests Shenanigans, But The Evidence Is Lacking It is. This is a picture of Benjy Eisen presented without comment.

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I Want You To Read My Mind Shenanigans?

You Read My Mind I love Book Club!

9 Comments

  1. I do not have $30, and will not for the foreseeable future. Cut to the chase and give us the best of the smack-talking re: other band members.

  2. “Nicko McBrain tell-all”? Come on. Who the hell cares about Nicko? More importantly, what could that guy have to tell? I’m practically on the floor over here! Like…like there’s some weirdo fan of Nicko out there. Like…like… with some lame-ass screen name. Maybe McBrainManiac144?

  3. At this past Wednesday’s NYC Barnes & Noble appearance, Mr. Eisen admitted that he had never taken LSD before meeting Mr. Kreutzmann. Billy said, “Come to Kuwai and we’ll trip.” Which they did.

    P.S. I asked Billy a question that I’ve been debating for years. In an all-out, no-holds-barred rasslin’ match, who would win – him or Butch Trucks? After a shrug of the shoulders, he replied, “I would. I’ve got longer legs.”

    • That’s just incredible. That’s the best thing i’ve ever read on the internet.

    • I am trying to imagine if there is a worse Grateful Dead to have as a companion for a 45-year-old man’s first acid trip.

    • my buddy is a well regarded keyboard player in New Orleans, he got recruited to play with billy and “dead feat” a couple weeks ago

      his quote:

      “He was real sweet. He told me, “I’ll with you anywhere, anytime.” That felt good to hear. I think he was tripping last night. He got tired and wanted to quit 30 minutes b4 the end of the set. Then before the encore he said I’m good lets go play.”

  4. I too thought it was weird that Benjy wrote the foreward. Did it save them money to not get anyone else?

  5. Obligatory Phrase When Mentioning Someone’s Passing: “darn it” (e.g. “He was killed in a horrifying fireball of gasoline, meth and bottle rockets, darn it.”)

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