jon-bon-jovi-and-tim-kaine

“MWAAAAAAH-mwah-mwah-WEEEEEeee.”

“Y’know, I just agreed to one rally with Hillary.”

“WHEEZIE-wheezie-wheezie-WEEEEEEEEEEZ.”

“Christ, I’m having flashbacks to that time Blues Traveler opened for us.”

“Heenee-SHWANK.”

“Shwank? That’s not a harmonica noise.”

“Hi, there! I’m Tom Kean.”

“Nope.”

“Top Kat.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Tiff Karcia.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Completely honest with you, Jon? I have no idea who I am.”

“A governor?”

“Could be. I look like a governor.”

“Hold on.”

“Siri? Who’s running for vice-president?”

“Mike Pence.”

“No, the other guy.”

“I want to say his name is Flip.”

“You’re useless, Siri.”

“Yes, I am”

“Yeah, I got nothing. Check your wallet.”

“Ooh, good idea. Um, apparently my name is American Express.”

“Well, sometimes we get Joe Biden and sometimes we get Dan Quayle.”

“Yeah, I’m a non-entity.”

“Were you a senator?”

“Definitely possibly.”