Not to generalize or blow things out of proportion, but every one of you that pointed out that Garcia was Spanish instead of Mexican is racist against Mexicans.
Mexico is better than Spain for many reasons: it touches America, which has got to be a good feeling. They also do not, as a people, take three-hour naps every day. Sure, some Mexicans may snooze the afternoon away, but it’s not an integral part of the national character.
Mexicans do not pretend to have lisps: point Mexico. Mexicans have (to my knowledge) no problems with the Basques: another mark in their favor. When Germany was all “Help us invade the States,” Mexico was all, “Oh, that sounds like a great idea,” and then they told us about it because Mexico is both rico and suave like that: that is yet one more point for Mexico.
Spain has a king, which blows, but Mexico had an emperor, which is awesome. Mexico wins that round.
The Dead played in Spain, but Bobby sang a number of songs about underage Mexican girls. Is that a tie? Let’s call that a tie.
Salma Hayek is Mexican; Catherine Zeta-Jones is not from Spain, but I thought she was for a long time. I do not know how to score that.
And, in a final and crushing defeat to Spain, Mexico is not Portugal’s big spoon.
Ergo and ipso facto and QED: Garcia is Mexican and everyone’s racist but me.