Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

La Problema

Not to generalize or blow things out of proportion, but every one of you that pointed out that Garcia was Spanish instead of Mexican is racist against Mexicans.

Mexico is better than Spain for many reasons: it touches America, which has got to be a good feeling. They also do not, as a people, take three-hour naps every day. Sure, some Mexicans may snooze the afternoon away, but it’s not an integral part of the national character.

Mexicans do not pretend to have lisps: point Mexico. Mexicans have (to my knowledge) no problems with the Basques: another mark in their favor. When Germany was all “Help us invade the States,” Mexico was all, “Oh, that sounds like a great idea,” and then they told us about it because Mexico is both rico and suave like that: that is yet one more point for Mexico.

Spain has a king, which blows, but Mexico had an emperor, which is awesome. Mexico wins that round.

The Dead played in Spain, but Bobby sang a number of songs about underage Mexican girls. Is that a tie? Let’s call that a tie.

Salma Hayek is Mexican; Catherine Zeta-Jones is not from Spain, but I thought she was for a long time. I do not know how to score that.

And, in a final and crushing defeat to Spain, Mexico is not Portugal’s big spoon.

Ergo and ipso facto and QED: Garcia is Mexican and everyone’s racist but me.

17 Comments

  1. Mexico gave us the queso and guacamole. BOOOOOM. Ftw. <>

  2. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    July 29, 2015 at 2:53 pm

  3. Uh . . . Spain gave us . . . gazpacho?

  4. Morning Douche

    July 29, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    Dude lived in the Outer Mission. Even if he was Spanish, he was claiming Mexi just to keep the peace…

  5. NoThoughtsOnDead

    July 30, 2015 at 2:35 am

    I can’t be bothered to look it up (I know how TotD feels about research), but I have a memory of reading in a couple of sources that JG identified as “Mission Irish.” In the Fifties, that was a way of keeping the peace, as I understand the racial geography of San Francisco in that era.

  6. The Bay Area was mostly founded by Mestizos during Spanish/ Mexican rule. Meztizos, meaning they were predominantly native blood, not born in Spain, and inferior to real European Spanish born who would never live in such an isolated place during the Mission expansion. They began to call themselves Californios. They quickly mated with any foreign born person who sailed into the bay to try and up their social standing. Russian, Irish, English, American all mated and SF was founded as mixed race peninsula 150 years before it became cool or legal.

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