Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Lazy Lightning>Perspiration

bobby 80's sweaty

Bobby’s sweat has special properties: pheromones that alert stone-cold teen foxes to his presence; oils forty times more viscous than supercooled helium; amino acids that have a palliative effect on cuts and bruises; lymphatic fluid that somehow flashes red if Bobby’s in danger; unique, Bobby-only bacteria (Bobteria?) that remind him where he left his keys; and urea, which is a fancy name for pee-pee.


  1. It is my understanding that his genitals glow ultra-fluorescent light as well. Nothing to base that on, just: “Talking smack.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.