Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Leilani And Ivory, Together In Perfect Harmony


I usually support Lillian Monster’s political stances; she believes in solar power and not bothering animals, and I do, too. I also support her activism, even though I may make sport of it on occasion. The simple fact is that I am not protesting anything, ever, so someone has to; she seems to enjoy it.

But she may be wasting her energy with this one: we have all Said No To Ivory, at least the people reading English on Instagram. That hashtag should be in several other languages, but the West has grown to accept synthetic cue balls and piano keys. If you want that hashtag to have the right message, it should be spelled #停止购买象牙,你他妈的观念狭隘保守。

I’ll also say this: Lillian Monster takes excellent photos of animals. I could not take pictures this well: you’ve seen my work. Also, I’d probably forget my phone at the AirBnB like at the Farewell Shoes and have to describe the animals to you.


  1. But does Ms Monster name the elephant and explain how it feels, and the conversations it has as it travels through time?

  2. We better check on the elephant….

  3. I hope Leilani runs into one of the trump boys over there and kicks his trophy hunting ass.

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