Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Lesh, Lesh, Legs

“Dad, I don’t wanna wear matching outfits.”

“Grahame, goddammit, it’s Father-Son Sunday.”

“I know, Dad. I love Father-Son Sunday.”

“Remember when we went fishing?”

“We’ve never been fishing, Dad.”

“You’re just jealous of my guns.”

“I’m not.”

“Feel ’em, boy.”

“I’m not going to–”


“Very impressive.”

“That’s the power of P90X. Your mother and I are nuts for it.”

“You keep telling me.”

“Grahame, lemme ask you something.”

“Here it comes.”

“When you giving me another grandbaby?”

“I don’t want to have this conversation again.”

“Your brother had Baby Levon. What do you have? A beard.”

“You said you liked my beard.”

“Oh, sure. Maybe I’ll take pictures of it and put them up on the fridge.”

“Dad, please.”

“I don’t care if you’re married or not. Make me a goddamned baby.”

“I’m not really seeing anyone right now.”

“Are you into fellows? You know you can tell me.”

“I’m straight, Dad.”

“I’ll buy you and your boyfriend a baby. Shit, I’ll pony up the extra for a white kid. I don’t care at this point. I want another grandchild.”

“Um, guys? Phil? Grahame? You’re, uh, live on the air.”

“Oh, shit, Gary. Didn’t see you there. We’re on the air?”

“Yeah, Phil.”

“What channel?”


“No one’s listening.”


  1. What GratefulDead would you want to have as your parent ?

    Mickey for me..

    • Hunter.

    • I led Mickey’s son on a wilderness trip (for “at-risk” kids) back in the 90s. Without overstepping any kind of confidentiality commitment, I can say that he was a really nice kid despite a less-than-ideal father/son relationship.

      I would go with Donna or Phil, or anyone else but Mickey or Vince.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    August 29, 2017 at 11:10 am

    all the time Hat can’t a word in edgewise with That Phil.

  3. Excellent choices, folks.

    Mickey and Hunter, for any or all of their other faults, are at WORST weird and would make it difficult to find Pots and Pans to “drum on,” or pieces of scrap paper to WRITE on, but each of those men would righteously make for Strong daughters and Gentle sons.

    As for everyone else in Dead-land, I can only say that the various “dads” would probably make you do your weekend homework on Friday afternoon or sell your bed for Drug Money, or both.


  4. well, jerry’s daughters seem to have turned out well….

  5. I’m beginning to think that the dead existed only so you would have material for this blog

  6. Definitely Jerry, imagine the cool points you get for being a Garcia…

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