Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Look Up Here

img_3280Haven’t had a good group shot in a while. We’ll go left to right for as long as we can, but there’s so much bullshit here. So much bullshit.

  • Seriously: so much bullshit.
  • Billy looks…
  • Jesus, I can’t deal with this; there’s so much wrong.
  • Okay, let’s do this: Billy looks like a friendly Italian baker who likes to fuck the cannoli before he sells it.
  • “I-a bake-a wit’ love-a!”
  • Billy’s eyebrows also look like his mustache’s children.
  • Phil had to leave the photo shoot early to meet his Newsie LARPing group at the park.
  • The Grateful Dead were not a hat band, and Phil is not a hat person, and that is an ugly hat.
  • It’s as if you went to see a badly written play starring terrible actors at a condemned theater: there is a failure at every level.
  • I hope the other guys gave him shit.
  • We’ll circle back to the two band members who are not looking at the camera.
  • As always, Bearded Mickey is terrifying.
  • There have been many frightful versions of Mickey: Russian Hat Mickey, Shirtless Mickey, Pantless Mickey, but Bearded Mickey is the scariest.
  • Now we take you to the Musician Magazine offices, where they are selecting which photo of the Grateful Dead will be used as the cover photo:
  • “I have a bunch of shots of–“
  • “Which one does Garcia look coolest in?”
  • “Um, this one, but the rest of the band–“
  • “Print it!”
  • “–looks like goobers. Two of them aren’t even facing the camera. You walked out of the office.”
  • And so on.
  • Garcia looks like a hippie lion.
  • He is fierce.
  • Garcia has brought all of his sexy to this photo shoot.
  • I mean, he very well may be passed out behind the sunglasses, but still: lion.
  • Sleepy, sleepy lion.
  • I know I promised to get back to Bobby and Brent, but they’re going to have to take care of themselves. 

19 Comments

  1. I remember Musician being a decent rag, occupying the middle ground between the celebrity worship of Rolling Stone and the nerdy-wankery of Guitar Player. Kinda like Downbeat, without Taking Itself Very Seriously, as DB tends to do….

  2. Skunk Baxter up there in the top right corner looks like he’s auditioning for both the roles of Keith’s Stunt Forehead Model and Phil’s Stunt Glasses Model in the film adaptation of our story.

  3. Is that even Brent? Looks like every guy I knew in college.

  4. Brent and Bobby had unexpected nosebleeds just as the photo shoot commenced.

  5. “Billy looks like a friendly Italian baker who likes to fuck the cannoli before he sells it.”

    This might be one of your finest Billy descriptions ever, and that’s saying something.

  6. Brent and Bobby look like someone is dangling a cat toy above their heads and they’re ridiculously interested in it.

  7. Skunk Baxter produced the second Bobby And The Midnites album, “Where The Beat Meets The Street,” released in 1984.

  8. phil appears to THINK that he brought his sexy…but he is wrong.

  9. At first glance, I thought it said “Musical” and that the pic was of the cast! Wow

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