Tell me your best summer camp memory.
“I was color war general. White Lightning ’92, motherfucker.”
“Blowout. From the counselors down to Bunk One, we had nothing but spazzes. By lunch of the first day, it was over.”
“We won Rope-Burning, though. Plus my girls fucking dominated Sing.”
You think the Gentiles know what we’re talking about?
Let’s date. I know we share the same political opinions.
“Sad about Bernie.”
But you have to be realistic.
Wow. We’re like New Jersey: perfect together. Are we dating? Also: how much money do you have? A lot? Please say a lot, and also don’t be lying when you say it.
You have a boyfriend.
“SHE GOT A GIRLFRIEND, YO.”
“THIS BITCH BOTHERING YOU, BITCH?”
Who are you?
“LADY PIMPELSTILTSKIN, YO.”
Okay, we can’t do this bit any more. It’s just too dumb.
“CAPTAIN FUCK SAID YOU WAS A BITCH, BITCH!”
Tell him I say “hi.”