Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Los Angeles And The Birth Of The Javelin

Fun fact: the Dead played the Los Angeles Coliseum only once, on 6/1/91.

Not-as-fun fact: the cops were dicks, and when the Dead took the stage, fans burst through the security fence and the whole bowl emptied onto the floor; there was almost a riot.

Fact neither fun nor morose, just true: the L.A. Coliseum was already an outdated dump when this picture was taken, and it’s an utter joke that an NFL team is playing there.

Patriotic fact: the L.A. Coliseum is where Ronald Reagan won gold at the 1984 Olympics in three events: leadership, freedom-givingness, and javelin.

Follow-up patriotic fact: if there were a superhero that used a javelin the way that Hawkeye or Green Arrow use a bow, it would be Ronald Reagan. People don’t know this about Dutch. The man could chuck a spear. Once, mistaking his wife’s wraith-like figure for his javelin, Reagan threw Nancy clear across the Rose Garden. Ronald Reagan called his favorite shaft “Lincoln.” He called his favorite javelin that, too.

Historical fact: there used to be nothing to do. No innertubes, no teevee; shit, there were no books until relatively recently. Case in point: the javelin:

“Hey, Anaphylaxis.”

“Yeah, Elephantidae?”

“I bet I can throw this stick farther than you can.”

“I don’t know, man. I’m pretty good at throwing sticks.”

“Drachma?”

“Drachma.”

And so on.

4 Comments

  1. Luther Von Baconson

    December 31, 2016 at 8:53 am

    “and I don’t…..like…..The Javelin…..parked….by….the curb!”

  2. I was in LA taking a cram course for a licensure exam and I got tickets for this show for all my fellow crammers and they all bowed out except me. It was the only show I ever went to alone but I managed to make some new friends. The show was pretty so so but the highlight for me was talking with Uncle Bobo while he was making his rounds around the lot on his mini bike busting bootleg t-shirt vendors.

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