Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Madmen Across The Water

Is Elton’s hairpiece balding now? That guy’s skull truly does not want anything on top of it.


One time on the ’72 Europe tour, the Bozo bus was pissed and fighting. Bad vibes, man, and pointed silences. And then Bobby started singing Tiny Dancer. Everyone listened for a second, and then joined in with each other throwing shit at him and calling him names.


Elton John and Bernie Taupin were a better songwriting team than Lennon/McCartney. I will defend this opinion no matter how indefensible it is.


Are those mass-produced glasses? Because I cannot think of another human being who could pull them off other than Elton John. (Don’t let Josh Meyers see them.)


Mickey, is Sir Elton John sexually harassing you?

“A little, but it’s fine.”

It’s not fine.

“Sure, it is. He’s a knight. Prima nocte.”

Okay, first of all: prima nocte is a myth. Second of all: that is not what this is.

Droit du seigneur?”

That’s just French for prima nocte.

“I’m getting a real education here.”

Mickey, don’t put up with sexual harassment from Sir Elton John.

“I’m into it. The English harass in such classy ways.”

How so?

“When he grabbed my dick, his pinky was out.”


“I can handle myself.”

Okay, man.

“Is it okay if I send him to Josh’s dressing room?”



  1. Is Elton now part of Dead & Co? I agree that John & Taupin are a better songwriting team than Lennon & Macca. I only like John’s songs, so I never think about Paul or Billy Shears or whatever his name is as being part of the team. Dylan is better than all of them put together and he did it by himself so he wins by default.

    Anyhow this seems an opportunity to share another absurd slice of an America that will never be again. Bennie & The Jets used to creep me out as a youth-kind of like Ricky Don’t Lose that Number or Brother Louie did. It is certainly my personal favorite Elton John song. Weird coked out vocal performance over the prerecorded backing music. You got to love that Lucite Steinway or Bosendorfer or whatever brand of piano it is:

    An interview with the audience & the inimitable Don Cornelius.

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