Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Make It Interesting?

Easy: Sunday morning. Far, far, almost farcically easier than Sunday morning: being a white guy.


The game had started out fun and low-stakes; it was part of the Precinct’s push towards “cooperative security” at big events this summer. Ten minutes in, Officer Dugan had lost his badge to the dad on the left, his gun to the dad on the right, and was now playing the dad in back for “one free murder.”


One is born with grace.


That ramp cleverly conceals $40 grand worth of nitrous tanks.


Chicago was one of the more mellow crowds I’ve ever been in; I’m sure the cops were needed at some point, but I didn’t see it. Now: there were crimes being committed literally everywhere, but they were the temporarily sanctioned ones. What’s this jamoke doing? Are the cops trying to “build trust?” Because suburban dads trust the fuck out of cops. The relationship between cops and suburban dads is tight.


The person who designed that hat hates cops.


  1. White dads: the lamest people on earth, with the best deal ever.

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