Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Man On The Inside

phil randos phil cut-out

Hey, Phil. Whatcha doing?

“Posing with randos.”

How’s it going?

“Right hand’s asleep.”

Oh, yeah. These are some weapons-grade randos right here.

“They’re fans.”

You ever get creeped out?

“Not unless they do something weird like obsessively write about my band for years on end.”

That hurt a little.


You cranky?

“Weir. I try to help my brother out, and the guy gets confused and starts stealing my ideas.

It was just a table or two.

“That’s how it starts. I heard he’s changing the name of the place.”

From Sweetwater? To what?

“‘The Grateful Dead Restaurant That Won’t Give You E.Coli Poisoning.’ I mean: that’s libel!”

It’s slander until he puts up the sign, actually.

“Shut up.”

How do you even know these things?

“I have spies. I sent some of the busboys in undercover.”


“Deep cover.”


The WEIR FAMILY KITCHEN TABLE. BOBBY is enjoying OATMEAL that is mostly going on his BEARD. Also seated at the table is a MEXICAN MAN IN A DRIVING SUIT AND BLACK WIG. He has a BULLHORN.

“Lillian Monster, could you pass the blueberries?”


“I can’t understand a word you’re saying since you got back from safari.”


  1. i too loved your d-day posts, but this is the one that left me in tears.

  2. FoToTD, Sam Shepard…

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