Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Man On The Inside

phil randos phil cut-out

Hey, Phil. Whatcha doing?

“Posing with randos.”

How’s it going?

“Right hand’s asleep.”

Oh, yeah. These are some weapons-grade randos right here.

“They’re fans.”

You ever get creeped out?

“Not unless they do something weird like obsessively write about my band for years on end.”

That hurt a little.

“Good.”

You cranky?

“Weir. I try to help my brother out, and the guy gets confused and starts stealing my ideas.

It was just a table or two.

“That’s how it starts. I heard he’s changing the name of the place.”

From Sweetwater? To what?

“‘The Grateful Dead Restaurant That Won’t Give You E.Coli Poisoning.’ I mean: that’s libel!”

It’s slander until he puts up the sign, actually.

“Shut up.”

How do you even know these things?

“I have spies. I sent some of the busboys in undercover.”

Undercover?

“Deep cover.”

CUT TO:

The WEIR FAMILY KITCHEN TABLE. BOBBY is enjoying OATMEAL that is mostly going on his BEARD. Also seated at the table is a MEXICAN MAN IN A DRIVING SUIT AND BLACK WIG. He has a BULLHORN.

“Lillian Monster, could you pass the blueberries?”

“¡CARNE ES MUERTE!”

“I can’t understand a word you’re saying since you got back from safari.”

2 Comments

  1. i too loved your d-day posts, but this is the one that left me in tears.

  2. FoToTD, Sam Shepard…

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