Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To


“C’mon, Justy, punch me in the stomach.”

“I don’t want to.”

“55 years old. C’mon, best shot.”

“Mr. President, I can throw a punch.”

“And I can take one. Let’s go.”

“I sense some tension, Mr. President.”

“Call me Mahmoud.”


“My original Muslim name.”

“I’d really prefer to keep calling you Mr. President.”

“Join the club. America misses me like a drowning man misses air.”

“It’s a mess right now.”

“He’s King Midas, but with shit instead of gold. Man, I wish this was happening to you guys.”

“It did. We called him Rob Ford.”

“True, true. You didn’t turn over the military to him, though.”

“But, hasn’t he turned the military over to itself?”

“He has. He has, indeed. This should end well.”

“You’re always welcome in Canada, Mr. President.”

“I know, like, every billionaire on the planet. I have spots to bug out to much nicer than Calgary.”

“But then you’ll miss the Rodeo.”

“I’ll be okay.”


  1. “Stampede,” not “rodeo.”

    Otherwise spot-on.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    June 10, 2017 at 9:34 am


  3. If I told you that this reminds me of the song “King Midas in Reverse” then you would google it and listen to it.

    However, Nobody should listen to King Midas in reverse, I always thought it was Herman’s Hermit, but it turns out it is the Hollies.

    Regardless, sorry I mentioned it, because more than a few of you will now listen to it. Like eating acid, smoking reefer, quitting jobs, spending all your money on tour, you dead heads are consistent in your tendency to do things you are told not to do.

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