The rumor going around is that there’s a Big Ticket item coming for the 50th, and as always, TotD brings you EXCLUSIVE previews of some of the things being considered:
- Billy comes and lives with you for a while! Just what it sounds like: Billy moves in and (in descending order of probability) punches some local dick, accidentally cripples your dog, accidentally sleeps with your wife, accidentally sleeps with your crippled dog, and turns your basement into a Pai-Gow poker game that starts a gang war in Chinatown.
- Too Much Access Pass! This pass is not merely laminated, it’s encased in 16 pounds of gallery-quality acrylic and enables you true all-access. More access that that. Even more. Like, you can follow people into the bathroom, or home, or into their home bathrooms. You can tag along on the 50th anniversary tour if you want. Hell, you can drive the bus. Sit in on business meetings and listen to men argue about things that happened 30 years and five keyboardists ago. Waltz into The Vault at 3 AM, drunk, to play paintball with homeless people: no one can stop you from doing these things.
- Spiders! You send Rhino Records $800 and they send an intern to your house to throw spiders–a big box of them–at you. It’s an awful product, honestly.
- Vince! Every single note from the Vince years, with extras including rehearsals, jams sessions, secretly-recorded bitch sessions, Vince’s solo album, extensive interviews with Vince, and a full and thorough explanation of his actions by Bob Bralove.