What is this?
“Decided to try out being one of you hillbilly motherfuckers. It’s nice. I see why you’re all so fucking happy all the time. Listen to some bullshit song about your fucking truck. Eat some spaghetti with fucking ketchup on it. String up a n—-r.”
Please stop saying that word.
“I’m allowed to say n—-r. I’m a racist white motherfucker.”
Wow, does that not make any sense.
“C’mon, let’s say the fucking Pledge of Allegiance.”
No. It was Election Day today, Mr. Davis. You a regular voter?
“Fuck that. I ain’t down with democracy.”
You’re not down with democracy? Why not?
“All men are created equal. That’s the foundation of that shit, right?”
“I ain’t fucking equal. I’m better than everybody. I should get a couple hundred votes. Any system gives Miles Davis and Steve Miller the same amount of votes is bullshit.”
You’re still mad about Steve Miller.
“Motherfucker, I’m still mad about everything I was ever mad about.”
“But especially that no-playing motherfucker. I shared stages with the greatest fucking musicians on the planet and I gotta open for this teenybopper motherfucker? Yelling about ‘Somebody get me a cheeseburger.’ I’ll shove a cheeseburger up your fucking ass, motherfucker. Take some fucking music lessons.”
“Oh, great. You’re still here.”
“Who the fuck is that?”
“Mr Davis? I’m Amir Bar-Lev and this is my daughter Hamentashen.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“We’re big fans.”
“Course you are. I’m a fucking genius.”
“And it’s such an honor to meet you. Just such an honor.”
“Hey, the other Jewish asshole.”
“Yeah. You see how your cousin treats me?”
He’s not my cousin. We’re not all related.
“He’s respectful. Doesn’t bitch about my language and ask me stupid fucking questions and make me talk to Russian dictators.”
And he’s a great director. You should let him do a movie about you.
“They already did one. It was fucking bullshit. Only good thing about it was they didn’t cast no light-skinned motherfucker to play me. Other than that, nothing good about it. Motherfucker wants to make a movie about me, he gotta make a pornographic film. Show off my fucking.”
You do see his kid standing there, right?
“Gotta shoot that shit in 70mm. I stroke long.”
Can we be done here?
“Go get me another Seven & Seven.”