Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Mississippi Half-Step Right Up

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Much like a Armenian woman  an hour into a bikini waxing, the bush remains. The Dead’s league shouldn’t still be this bush: the Dead (Or What’s Left Of ‘Em) are now managed by Irving Azoff, who pretty much runs the music industry, and Young John Mayer must have publicists on 24-hour call.

And yet: the launch of Livedead.co–the .co address belongs to Colombia, by the way nudge nudge sniff sniff–just kinda slithered out today. There was a single article about it, and the article was on Jambase, and I don’t know if that counts.

(Although here is where my Facebook-blindness comes in. I have an accounts over there, personal and for the site, but I don’t get involved; I check it once a week, if that, and never interact with anyone. I did just check, though, and D&C have 120,000 followers; maybe it’s just as effective to announce things on that site as it is to announce them everywhere else combined.)

To sum up the offerings: as of now, the SPAC show is being webcasted (Webcast? Can I get a ruling on the past tense of the word webcast, please?) and the rest of the tour will not be officially streamed, but instead offered in a multitude of audio formats of varying qualities and levels of bullshit for download a day or two later.

Shows may be purchased in the mp3 format, which is pretty good; or as FLAC files, which are what TotD endorses; or in HD Audio, which is probably bullshit; or DSD, which is certainly bullshit. I’ll let you figure out which order they go in, price-wise. (The order I wrote them in.) You can get clever and jam as much information into a signal as you want, but the human ear is only capable of processing so much.

Sadly, the article and the subdued launch of this new venture leaves quite a bit out: there is so much more available to enjoy, and share, and purchase from Dead & Bro.* Luckily for you, my spies on the inside have procured the full list of offerings from this summer’s hottest tour.

  • PONO downloads Shows will be made available in the super-hi-fi format of PONO; each purchase comes with a free lecture from Neil Young about how compressing music robs it of its soul. $59.99.
  • Cam4Billy Whoever Billy’s current Benjy is follows him around with a GoPro, and you can tip Billy to make him do stuff. He has already declared “nothing is off-limits, and there are no safe words.” $9.99 (SD) or $14.99 (HD) a day, plus tokens.
  • Pirated Simulcasts of Phil’s Webcasts The drummers thought it was funny, and they insisted. FREE.
  • John Mayer’s In The Closet Young John Mayer plans on doing some shopping during the tour, and JMITC will be his subscription-only podcast about his latest acquisitions. $9.99 a show, streaming only.
  • Music and Yoga Retreat to Iceland With Oteil and a Rando This one’s an actual thing. $5555.00.
  • VRD&C This is the big one, Enthusiasts: a Dead & Company show in full virtual reality immersion, and they promise that what happened when they Beta-tested it won’t happen again. (Billy paid a computer nerd to insert a tiger charging at the viewer into the feed; it didn’t show up until an hour in, when the test subjects had gotten really into the VR, and more than several had heart attacks. Many more than several.) $99.99
  • Limited-Edition Cassettes Sure, there’s going to be vinyl, but there will also be cassette releases of all the show. They will not be available online, but will instead be sold from a pop-up food truck in Bushwick that will not tell anyone where it is. J-card art by Tony Millionaire. $49.99.
  • The Official Periscope Experience Everything you’ve grown to love from Periscope: a static view from the extreme side of the stage, semi-acceptable sound, yammering idiots, and the battery dying three-quarters of the way through the second set. It will also be shot in portrait mode, and participation in the chat room is mandatory. Plus, you have to pay for it. (A small note: in defense of D&C’s intellectual property rights, non-official Periscopers will be struck with collapsible riot batons. $14.99.

 

*”Dead & Bro” courtesy of FoTotD Jesse Jarnow, who is now getting on my nerves. First, he writes the outstanding Heads: A Biography of Psychedelic America, then he has a beard that qualifies as a face-pelt, and THEN the motherfucker comes up with Dead & Bro. I might have to start accusing that guy of more things.

5 Comments

  1. What about going old school, with just a single grainy photo and a partial audience tape of the second set, like it was back in the old country? Maybe release it on a vinyl lp with a white cover.

  2. The past tense of “broadcast” is “broadcast.” “Webcast” should follow.

  3. I webcasti.
    You (singular) webcastisti.
    He/she/it webcastit.
    We webcastimus.
    You (plural) webcastistis.
    They webcasterunt.

  4. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    June 9, 2016 at 10:47 am

    Note that “Dead & Company: Mickey Hart, Bill Kreutzmann, John Mayer, Bob Weir, with Oteil Burbridge and Jeff Chimenti.” is not in alphabetical order. Otherwise, the two best guys would be listed first.

    Hmm… they could call themselves “Half Dead”?

  5. Bernie Cahill is involved in management somehow, is Irving still involved above the Bernie level?

    Also… I am sure young John Mayers management had to have some arms twisted to agree to this low cost sharing of performances. So good for Billy for breaking some of those arms to make this happen.

    You know Dead & Co is announced on Sirius 23, as Mickey, Billy, Bobby and John.

    That is most likely the incorporated entity. Oteil and Jeff are described as being “with” the four other members.

    That is why they are smaller font, and listed last.

    Fuck that shit.. If I was dividing up the piles of cash after the show, I would make 10 equal piles of money, Give Jeff 2, Oteil 2, the rest would each get one pile, and the remaining 2 piles would go to party supplies.

    Surely without Jeff, they would all miss cues and forget changes.

    Surely without Oteil, they would similarly suffer.

    “Oteil, Jeff and Friends” is the proper name for this band.

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